"…During one of our conversations you told me that if I choose not to believe in what my parents believe and live another lifestyle, then in your own words I should "stay away" and that it’s their (my family’s) right to believe what they want and that I don’t belong in their home with my beliefs. When I asked if it’s right that just because I’m not frum that I shouldn’t see my siblings you asked me “would you let your son who is on drugs into your own home?” I ask you now, have you ever thought about how such a comparison can make someone feel? Did you ever imagine what it feels to be told by one of the most influential rabbis in Chabad today that I am the equivalent of a drug addict and that I should stay away from my family because of my beliefs?…"
Above: Rabbi Manis Friedman
Mendel Vogel writes:
Open Letter to Manis Friedman
Rabbi Friedman.
As per my father's request, we met on two occasions to discuss our family situation. My father trusted that you would be able to help our unfortunate situation as you claimed to be an expert in this field. We discussed religion at length, but when we did discussed my family, you justified their decision to not invite me home for the upsherenish of my youngest brother.
Now, if a parent is reaching out to you as a rabbi asking if to let their own son into the house, I believe that either you have to find a way to make it work for the estranged child and the family, or if you realize that you cannot help both parties in this type of situation, it is your responsibility to send them to someone who is a professional in the field, but you chose instead to handle this on your own.
The way you handled it was entirely unprofessional, and the outcome was that things have gotten a lot worse than before we met. During one of our conversations you told me that if I choose not to believe in what my parents believe and live another lifestyle, then in your own words I should "stay away" and that it’s their (my family’s) right to believe what they want and that I don’t belong in their home with my beliefs.
When I asked if it’s right that just because I’m not frum that I shouldn’t see my siblings you asked me “would you let your son who is on drugs into your own home?” I ask you now, have you ever thought about how such a comparison can make someone feel? Did you ever imagine what it feels to be told by one of the most influential rabbis in Chabad today that I am the equivalent of a drug addict and that I should stay away from my family because of my beliefs? What benefit do you see in making such offensive statements other than alienating more people like me? Why in the world should people in my situation (there are many) pay you for this type of advice that helps no one?
I believe that you have abused your position and handled this situation very unprofessionally, and it’s my understanding is that this isn’t the first time either.
I am choosing to expose the destructive guidance of an unqualified rabbi on the expense of my own privacy because I believe that at the end of the day, this all happened for a reason. That reason is to prevent others from feeling as hurt as I was the day of their family simcha which they weren’t invited to because of statements like the ones you made to me and to my family.
You claim to be an expert in marriage counseling and in family and religious issues and yet you are completely unqualified. How can you be playing with people's lives and take money for it? I think the community as a whole has a responsibility to stop you from causing such pain and destroying families in the future.
I hope you consider my words and the pain you’ve caused me and many others next time a family in distress turns to you for advice.
Sincerely,
Mendel vogel
Friedman previously equated being raped as a child with having diarrhea, advocated for genocide against Palestinians – including women, children and infants – claimed young adults leave Orthodoxy (and especially Chabad) because they hate their parents, and has made many other offensive and dangerous statements. Even so, he still works as an official Chabad emissary – despite the fact that Chabad lied by trying to falsely claim he doesn't.
Related Posts:
You're Not Frum Because You Hate Your Parents, Rabbi Manis Friedman Says.
Chabad Lies About Friedman's Status As Chabad Emissary.
Dangerous, Idiotic And Insulting – Rabbi Manis Friedman 'Explains' Child Sexual Abuse.
Survivors Outraged Over Holocaust Remarks Made By Chabad's Rabbi Manis Friedman.