According to Rabbi Manis Friedman, the prominent Chabad emissary who compared being raped as a child to having a bout of diarrhea and who called for genocide against Palestinian civilians (even women and children), tells a class at Chabad's Bais Rivka girls school in Crown Heights that Chabad kids stop being Chabad or Orthodox for three reasons, two of which are the kids' own fault.
Above: Rabbi Manis Friedman
Manis Friedman's three reasons are (video posted below):
1. You're angry at your parents and you want to hurt them. Once an OTD kid admits that, she'll stop acting out and will return to Chabad.
2. You did something really, really bad – in this context, likely kissed a boy, masturbated, ate something non-kosher, or smoked marijuana – and because of that you can't pretend that you're a good person anymore. Instead, you decide to be what you really are: no good.
3. You asked questions and nobody gave you an answer, so you gave up.
Note that what is missing from this list are things like:
• You were raped by your father, teacher, or a rabbi and then were told by community rabbis that it was your fault because you "provoked" him, "enticed" him, or "led" him on.
• You find Chabad's infighting and craziness to be too much.
• You're a smart person and you did some outside reading and found out most of the stuff you were taught in places like Bais Rivka is untrue, and that science really does have clear and compelling evidence to disprove these Chabad and haredi myths.
• You're tired of women being treated as second class citizens (even though this is much less of a problem in Chabad than it is elsewhere in the haredi world.
• Etc., etc., etc.
Friedman is a very bad man, a person who manipulates and lies every day. Those lies and manipulations hurt people, and it's long past the time that Chabad should have fired him.
But one of Friedman's brothers is married into the Krinsky family, and Friedman's youngest brother is hasidic singer Avraham Fried. Manis' son Benny is also a noted singer with a large following. And all this serves to protect him and will continue to do so – unless Chabad's head Rabbi Yehuda Krinsky mans up and finally does what he should have done years ago, and strip Manis Friedman of his official emissary status.