According to Chabad's relationship expert Rabbi Manis Friedman – the man who equated being raped as child to have a case of diarrhea, who called for genocide against Palestinian civilians, even against Palestinian children, and said young people leave Chabad and go OTD because they hate their parents – it's like shopping for shoes. You go from store to store to store until you find the pair that fits, all the while acting completely selfishly and only for your own best interest. And then, when you meet a young woman and that meeting goes well, you marry her, because you've found your correct pair of shoes.