When a young haredi man begins working, he is viewed in the haredi community as someone who has left the haredi mainstream, and that makes finding a haredi marriage partner nearly impossible. In fact, many haredi matchmakers won’t even look for mates for men who have chosen to join the workforce or go to college because so few haredi women are willing to marry them.
Haredi Israel: The Land Where Being Responsible And Having A Job Is A Strong Detriment To Marriage
Shmarya Rosenberg • FailedMessiah.com
A gathering was held in Jerusalem Sunday to help working haredim find marriage partners. But that is, organizers and participants alike said, no easy task.
“Anyone entering,” Yeshiva World reported, “would agree it appeared like a regular chareidi event, with men seated in the front and women in the rear but in fact, the event was quite out of the ordinary. The young men and women have one thing in common, they have decided to enter the workplace or attend an institute of higher education. Now they report they are having difficulty getting a shidduch as a result of their decision. They lamented that while they are still chareidi in every sense of the word they are viewed as ‘second rate’ when it comes to shidduchim [arranged marriages; haredi matchmaker-brokered dates].”
The Agudah Achas organization sponsored the event. Its Moti Horowitz said that when a young haredi man begins working, he is viewed in the haredi community as someone who has left the haredi mainstream, and that makes finding a haredi marriage partner nearly impossible. He noted many haredi matchmakers won’t even look for mates for men who have chosen to join the workforce or go to college because there are so few haredi women willing to marry them.
Top haredi rabbis oppose higher education and many of them – including the supreme non-hasidic haredi rabbinic leader 102-year-old Rabbi Aharon Leib Steinman – have banned it outright.
Additionally, haredim who choose to work rather than study in yeshiva full-time well into middle age or beyond are also viewed in many haredi circles as defective, as people who lack the intellectual prowess or the religious faith to continue full-time yeshiva study indefinitely.
Haredim who choose not to work receive government welfare benefits and other public funds, along with private charity dollars. Even so, most are poor and their refusal to serve in the IDF (their rabbis forbid them to join) or work is extremely damaging to Israel’s economy and, increasingly, to its longterm national security, as well.