“I received an anonymous phone call last night with a message from one
of your "friends" on Facebook, who expressed great consternation and
concern that you have chosen to publicize to "friends" (regardless of
their age, sincerity and level of intimacy) your history of sexual
abuse. Your public Facebook page is troubling enough, as is your Google
history [which are open to the whole world]. It is troubling primarily
because you have chosen to identify yourself by your pathology. You no
longer appear as a full human - but rather as "case study" of a young
woman warped by her childhood experiences, and is thus identified wholly
by that past.…I am
asking you to exercise a measure of discretion, and develop a plan to go
beyond your past towards healing. You seem too intent on wallowing in
the past, and drawing sick attention to yourself for all of the wrong
reasons. At the same, you identify yourself as a student of
Hebrew Theological College, and by association besmirch your peers as
well as yourself."
Chaim Levin reports that an 18-year-old student at the Blidstein Institute, Hebrew Theological College of Skokie, Illinois (Skokie Yeshiva) women’s school, posted a note on her public Facebook page outing herself as a survivor of child sexual abuse.
Based on the premise that you find out who your real friends are when you go public as a survivor of child sexual abuse, her note reads:
“I'm a survivor of sexual abuse.Earlier today, the student got the following email from the Institute’s dean Ester Shkop (which Shkop also cc’d to several Institute administrators), proving that the student’s premise was, sadly, spot on:
This is not a new thing. I've been a survivor as long as you've known me.
Are you going to change your opinion of me just because three evil people took advantage of me?
Are you embarrassed of me? Are you willing to share our story?
Let's see who my real friends are.”
“I received an anonymous phone call last night with a message from one of your "friends" on Facebook, who expressed great consternation and concern that you have chosen to publicize to "friends" (regardless of their age, sincerity and level of intimacy) your history of sexual abuse. Your public Facebook page is troubling enough, as is your Google history [which are open to the whole world]. It is troubling primarily because you have chosen to identify yourself by your pathology. You no longer appear as a full human - but rather as "case study" of a young woman warped by her childhood experiences, and is thus identified wholly by that past.
“I am not asking you to deny your pain. I am asking you to exercise a measure of discretion, and develop a plan to go beyond your past towards healing. You seem too intent on wallowing in the past, and drawing sick attention to yourself for all of the wrong reasons.
“At the same, you identify yourself as a student of Hebrew Theological College, and by association besmirch your peers as well as yourself.
“This misuse of social media is definitely a violation of the HTC Personal Conduct Policy (see page 17 in the Student Handbook). Consequently, the HTC Administration is putting you on formal notice that all inappropriate materials should be removed from your Facebook page forthwith - both on the front page and the back pages.
“If you have questions about what is and is not appropriate, feel free to come to speak to me or Mrs. Lipshitz.
“Sincerely,
Ester Shkop
“Esther M. Shkop, Ph.D.
Dean, Machon Torani L'Banot
Blitstein Institute of Hebrew Theological College
2606 West Touhy Avenue
Chicago, IL 60645”
Note that Shkop did not:
1. Offer to help the student find appropriate counseling.
2. Express any sympathy for the student.
3. Ask the student how she feels or try to ascertain the student’s emotional state.
4. Show any empathy at all.
Note that Shkop did:
1. Blame the student for “besmirch[ing]” other Institute students and herself by publicizing the abuse.
2. Accuse the student of appearing to be less than fully human.
3. Accuse the student of “wallowing in the past” and “drawing sick attention” to herself.
4. Order the student to remove all mention of her sexual abuse from her Facebook page.
Is Shkop qualified to teach students or to head a school?
No, she most certainly is not.
One of the common effects of child sexual abuse is depression and despair. From that often all-pervasive sadness can come substance abuse, self-mutilation and even suicide.
Even if Shkop had been correct in wanting the student’s child sexual abuse information removed from Facebook (and, again, she was not), to treat a survivor of child sexual abuse in the brusk, cold and uncaring way that Shkop did is unforgivable.
Every moment HTC allows Shkop to teach or work there endangers the health and safety of HTC students.
The only proper response to Shkop’s offensive, irresponsible email is to fire her.
Will HTC do that?
Almost certainly not.
In fact, it is highly unlikely that HTC will do anything other than persecute the student.
Hebrew Theological College, the Blidstein Institute's parent, is a beneficiary of the Jewish Federation of Metropolitan Chicago.