Hadassah Shalom, the in-house social worker in charge of children's
therapy at this Bat Melech shelter, says ultra-Orthodox children often
have special problems: "It is hard for these children to say bad things
about their father: They are educated to respect their parents no matter
what their behavior. A lot of the children blame their mother for the
violence. They say if Mom doesn't do what Daddy wants, if she put the
pan down in the wrong spot, then he hits her. Why doesn't she do what he
says? The kids tend to identify with the strong parent."
Ha'aretz has an article on the creation of a shelter for haredi women who are victims of domestic violence:
…Hadassah Shalom, the in-house social worker in charge of children's therapy at this Bat Melech shelter, says ultra-Orthodox children often have special problems: "It is hard for these children to say bad things about their father: They are educated to respect their parents no matter what their behavior. A lot of the children blame their mother for the violence. They say if Mom doesn't do what Daddy wants, if she put the pan down in the wrong spot, then he hits her. Why doesn't she do what he says? The kids tend to identify with the strong parent."…
"The women here have already tried everything. They've turned to rabbis, who have told them to go back and make peace in the home. They know that life as a divorced woman in Haredi society will be terribly hard, harder than for a secular woman. If a Haredi wife and mother takes the radical step of leaving her husband and coming to a shelter, the situation is extremely bad."…
Actually, "Mom" is taught to be subservient to "Daddy," and that is what haredi children are taught in school, as well.
When either parent hits them, they understand it as punishment from a superior – just as they understand it as punishment from a superior when "Daddy" hits "Mom." That's why they think "Mom" is wrong and "Daddy" is right.
That also means that "Daddy" is by definition the "strong parent" Hadassah Shalom disingenuously talks about.
Couple this institutionalized misogyny with domestic violence and you have disasters, not only in this generation, but in the next.