By Shmarya Rosenberg http://www.shpoof.com
In a shocking twist to this year’s presidential campaign, the New York Times, often thought of as America’s premier newspaper, has threatened to move its headquarters from New York City to Paris, France if George W. Bush is reelected on November 2nd.
The newspaper’s publisher, face red with emotion, spoke to assembled journalists and staffers in the newspaper’s lunchroom.
“We will not remain if that man is reelected,” Arthur Sulzberger, Jr. said. “We will save America from exile if we must, but we will not publish under Republican tyranny!”
In a later clarification, the newspaper’s spokesman was quick to point out that a move to Paris would not place an undue hardship on the newspaper’s staff.
“Most of us already live in Paris or the Cote d’Azur,” Mr. Chirac said. “Actually, the move will cut down on our commute time.”
©2004 Shmarya Rosenberg
