By Shmarya Rosenberg http://www.shpoof.com
The New York Times today endorsed Democrat John Forbes Kerry in his attempt to win the presidency from George W. Bush.
In listing a litany of policy mistakes made by Mr. Bush, the Times cited the President’s disregard for the separation of church and state, his failed policy on Iraq, his poorly-conceived war against “terrorism,” his lavishing of tax cuts on the rich and corporate America, and his status as the Antichrist who is the root of all evil.
On the other hand, writing in Mr. Kerry’s favor the editors noted that Mr. Kerry is not afraid to change his mind – even many times during the same policy address, if need be.
“Mr. Kerry is supple as a reed,” the Times wrote, “a man who bends with the slightest breeze.”
Mr. Bush was unavailable for comment. Sources at the Times who requested anonymity indicated that Mr. Bush was off speaking to a combined rally of the Imperial Wizards of the Ku Klux Klan, the American Nazi Party and the Southern Baptist Convention.
For his part, Mr. Kerry was overjoyed with the endorsement.
“I intend to do the best I can to fulfill the wishes of the New York Times,” Mr. Kerry said while skateboarding in a private park on the grounds of his Boston-area estate. “What they say, goes.”
©2004 Shmarya Rosenberg
