By Shmarya Rosenberg http://www.shpoof.com
Ending a frantic search that spanned five continents, a housewife who also works as a part time employee of a Walmart store located on U.S. Highway 61 in Natchez, Mississippi, has apparently found munitions missing from the al-Qaqaa arms depot in Iraq.
Two days ago, Minnie Washington was dusting shelves in the Walmart when noticed the International Atomic Energy Agency seal on boxes thought to contain dinnerware. She immediately reported the find to her supervisor who notified Natchez police. The police then notified the F.B.I., who in turn notified the Department of Defense and the C.I.A.
But by yesterday afternoon, no one had arrived at the Walmart store to secure the munitions.
Eventually, Buster Cherry, a Walmart customer care representative who had just returned from a six-month tour of duty in Iraq serving as a cook with the Marine Corps, moved the munitions to safety at a U.S. Army Corps of Engineers base in nearby Vidalia, Mississippi using his 1994 Chevrolet pickup truck and a trailer rented from a local hardware store.
“We just couldn’t wait any longer,” Mr. Cherry said. “It’s almost Christmas and we need the space for dishes.”
Dinnerware is a popular holiday gift according to Ms. Washington.
“We just couldn’t get caught short,” she said. “We be ruining too many peoples’ Christmas.”
A trip to Vidalia this morning found the munitions lightly guarded by two civilian employees of the Army Corps of Engineers.
“We don’t got nobody else to do the job,” said one guard who wished to remain anonymous. “They’re all over in Iraq or doing hurricane cleanup near Biloxi.”
Contacted in Washington, DC, a source in the Department of Defense urged calm.
“Don’t worry about security. We’ll have it all tied down in a few days,” the source said.
He also pointed out the good fortune of the situation.
“Thank God," he sighed, "it wasn’t Nordstrom.”
©2004 Shmarya Rosenberg
