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May 30, 2014

Video: Broken Trusts, Broken Childhoods – Understanding Child Sexual Abuse

Haredi kids eyes covered croppedHere's a Twin Cities Public Television documentary on the impact of child sexual abuse on its victims. Much of it is heartrending, and it's well worth watching – especially for those of you who criticize victims of child sex abuse and the efforts of advocates to help them.

 

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Thank you Shmarya for posting this video.
So much emphasis on Rabbinic and priest abuse. To be sure, it was evidently rampant in the schools. A few male colleagues to this day, feel that it was ok, that they "got some" at 12 or somewhat older. The subject of abuse by family members is far less talked about. I was abused by close family member at about age 10. My mother was in the hospital at the time. it did not go on for very long, for she returned home, and he was no longer alone with me. Manual digital abuse, not rape. I never told a soul until age 23 or so, a Freudian analyst who never really asked any questions. yes, i felt i was complicit, since I did not tell my mother immediately. and since there was no "FORCE" it was even more my fault. If you don't tell after the very very first occurrence, then you are complicit. thus it seemed to me. and of course he told me, never to tell her or anyone, for they would not understand. I could barely understand how this man, who had never paid any attention to me, was now doing these strange things, and saying even stranger things, which eventually shocked me into trauma, as i realized how terribly terribly inappropriate his actions were. This was way way before the internet. I knew nothing, did not understand at the start what he was doing. And, I had said to myself, this is wrong, I think this is wrong, but if it is, how could my father be doing these things???? really wrong, but this is my father, so so so , how to make heads or tails out of this behavior. he was a fuxxing well respected professional.
When he was dying in the hospital many years later, me with newborn, , I visited once, towards the end, wondering if he would apologize?? They gave him a valium and he fell asleep. No apology. There is a special place in HELL for people like that. Was i the only ten year old ever abused by a father. (albeit without penetration), psychologically, maybe. that was an alleviating factor over the years. maybe.
Another video about being abused at home, is needed. My mother died without knowing, I think...I believe.

Hi. My name is Manny Wak-job. I run an organization called Tzedakah. I was a victim of child abuse even though no one has ever been convicted for any crime against me. Furthermore I am butt ugly so it would take for a real desperado to do that to me. The closes I got to abuse was probably in my own home. With a zillion kids my hot tempered dad would beat me and my mom, well, she was too busy having babies. So I went to look for love elsewhere - and then cried foul when it didn't go to plan.

Anyway I run this organization because I am incapable of doing anything else. It gives me a platform and makes me feel significant.

My job is to ruin as many lives as possible and convince myself that it is a good thing.

Thank you for listening.

amhaaretz-

So sorry to hear of your experience and pain.


Wackjob -

How many kids did you molest ?

Thank you APC, really, I am fine now. I told my kids about it about two weeks before Pesach last year, in an email addressed to the two of them. yeah. one responded, the one least likely to respond. A one sentence, "that sucks, so very sorry", the one who was obsessed, who "had to know" I believe, never read the email. for she knew what it was about....why? i do not know. did she have some experience that i knew nothing about? it will haunt me forever not knowing if something happened to her. For sure, for sure, not in the family, maybe a summer camp experience? maybe nothing???

Wackjob, go take some thorazine, no forget it, take something lethal. We and you will be blessed. go research, something truly toxic. A mitzvah, for you and others. You can save yourself, from your insanity. Just do it.

Wackjob, I was thinking 'at last a video to convince people how harmful rape is and to make the deniers think a bit' and then your inane comment demonstrating how many more videos we still need. Exactly why we need Manny.

"My job is to ruin as many lives as possible" - he doesn't want to ruin rapist's lives, he just wants them off the streets so that kids don't have to get raped anymore. You absolute moron.

http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/sex-abuse-led-to-26-suicides-says-policeman-20110729-1i4f0.html

Thank you Steven. Australia, is it possible, is worse than here in US, amongst the Rabbinics? is that possible? in any case, that is not my history. Want to be a paying advocate, being that i do not spend my days and nights doing this, as several Tsadikim do...
They know who i am....

Amhaaretz
Until the internet you put it behind and forgot about it like a real man.
The internet opened old wounds and now you began feeling that a wrong has been done to you.
All this talk about how hurtful blah blah blah is a product of the information made available. Say in a century from now someone will cone along and tell us how terrible sex is and the kind of "abuse" women endure, not to mention the trauma. Suddenly, all women will "wake up" and start crying how abusive their male counterparts are and the likes of Shmarya will be there right with them cheering them on.
Please.
I am not condoning sexual abuse but in the past people moved on and put it behind them. Now we have all the spokespeople for the so called "victims" (my teacher tapped my shoulder affectionately...). They are definitely doing more damage than good.
Yeah awareness blah blah blah. Awareness that even a casual handshake may have sexual intentions; gimme a freakin' break!
As I said we should deal with AUTHENTIC sexual abuse in a way that we will help future potential victims.
Most of you are too shallow to get the depth of what I am suggesting since you are gut driven and have refuse to use your G-d given brains.
I see that whenever I post an opinion I evoke knee-jerk reactions instead of considering what is being said and thinking it thru. Ah, this Jekyll is a Haredi troll, what does he know...

You should be institutionalized.

There is abundant proof that many child sex abuse victims are deeply injured by the abuse whether or not they have access to the Internet or read up on the subject.

Everyone reading your hateful, ignorant comments should know that this is actually Chabad's position, articulated to great reproach by Rabbi Manis Friedman last year.

You are a sick person in a sick group.

Thank you Shmarya. I do not blame Chabad, specifically, but I only got very deeply involved in this subject, as an advocate, since Manis, [REDACTED BY SITEOWNER]. Prior to that, I never read the blogs, never was involved, never contemplating giving 10 million inheritance to CSA advocates. I wrote every Chabad Rabbi I knew, at the time. and everyone was powerless. albeit sympathetic, (half of them were probably abused themselves)????>

I think I triggered a couple off with my outraged emails about Manis (MF), how appropriate the acronym. Jekyll you are a huge sicko. as Shmarya has told you. Halevai.....[REDACTED BY SITEOWNER] You are a goddamn fxxkg idiot. Jekyll, you have secured yourself a place in the world to come, the wrong place. Baba Metziah. I do not envy you, Halevai halevai....

Amhaaretz,

I am really sorry to hear that you still agonize over what happened to you. There is no solace for a person, especially if parents were the molester. Ahead of you is a long and winding road. May you find comfort.

>>Posted by: Wackjob | May 31, 2014 at 07:16 PM

Translation: "Someone is forcing me to question my beliefs! My holy rebbaim may not have all the answers! I might have been lied to all of my life!"

When garbage like you feels its worldview threatened, it knows only to lash out blindly in a pathetic, desperate attempt to allay its fears.

Posted by: Jekyll Jacobson | May 31, 2014 at 11:57 PM

How do you know they all 'put it behind them?" how do you know they didn't have life-long issues? Are you so well educated that you can state for a fact they didn't have PTSD? Depression? Dissociative disorders?

Can you possible be so foolish and shallow as to blame all their symptoms on the internet?

The fact that you could equate rape and molestation to heterosexual sex defies logic.

"Most of you are too shallow to get the depth of what I am suggesting since you are gut driven and have refuse to use your G-d given brains."

There are no words for this level of irony.

Shmarya, why in God's name do you allow this miserable piece of drek to post comments here?

As I said: deep minds you're not.
I like the putz who loves using the "irony" word. Majes him feel intelligent. Shmuck.

Here's the deal, Jekyll. You're vermin. Your very existence is an offense against God, humanity and reason. Every breath you take is a waste of oxygen - and the only people here who disagree with that assessment are your fellow farfrumpte cretins, the entire lot of whom wouldn't recognize an independent thought if it introduced itself to them.

My wish for you is that you live long enough to see your children disavow everything in which you believe, and that you die a broken man, realizing you've wasted your life. It's no more than you deserve.

Amen!

Skeptical
Read my words with a clear head and give it some thought. Keep in mind that man chose what is right and wrong sexually (unless, of course the Torah means something to you...). The current climate may shift some day. So logic plays no role here.

Posted by: Jekyll Jacobson | June 01, 2014 at 03:03 PM

I read your words quite analytically. They are baseless and indefensible. You have no independent evidence to support your claim that the internet opened old wounds that had, in fact,healed.

Skeptical
All I am saying is that prior to the digital age, people tried hard to put it past them and focus on the future. Many married and had successfully raised nice families. Yes, they likely m had issues but tried to overcome it. Now, they all seem to busy themselves with revenge rather than trying to cope (or heal as much as possible) and move on. They seem to be lingering in the past with no intentions of ever leaving. The internet is the perfect place for that. In fact, it advocates such behavior.
So yes, I believe if we were to tell these people to snap out of it and get on with life, we'd be doing them a great service.
My heart goes out for true victims and would like to see them be happy again. I truly believe that what all that is currently being done in the digital domain does not help in that aspect.
No, I don't think we should let molesters roam the streets; they should be dealt an iron fist but that is besides the point.

Skeptical
All I am saying is that prior to the digital age, people tried hard to put it past them and focus on the future. Many married and had successfully raised nice families. Yes, they likely had issues but tried to overcome it. Now, they all seem to busy themselves with revenge rather than trying to cope (or heal as much as possible) and move on. They seem to be lingering in the past with no intentions of ever leaving. The internet is the perfect place for that. In fact, it advocates such behavior.
So yes, I believe if we were to tell these people to snap out of it and get on with life, we'd be doing them a great service.
My heart goes out for true victims and would like to see them be happy again. I truly believe that all that is currently being done in the digital domain does not help in that respect.
No, I don't think we should let molesters roam the streets; they should be dealt an iron fist but that is besides the point.

Skeptical,
agav, I, for one, am actually quite fine. it's been decades, of course. I posted my story, more for educational value, than anything else, since the video was focused strictly on "educator abuse". I thought that my story, and my psychological reactions, might strike a chord in some, and in some way, efshar, help someone, even if just one person, to heal, to seek help, whatever,
I would NEVER have written about my story if i were not, now, as good as it's going to get. Nothing ever gets erased from the brain, but, that being said, some of us, what percentage i do not know, overcome. and it has nothing the f to do with the internet. jekyll is fn sick. the world would be a far better place without him. as would FM. At the time that i first "came out of the abuse closet" over a year ago, there was a spate of that. articles in Jewish Week, FB, LOL, I beat them all by a few weeks. I thank the couple of kind hearted souls here who expressed commiseration, and that is appropriate, but, I am actually doing fine. would never ever ever have posted online, nor my letter over a year ago, to 2 progeny, if i was not healed. as healed as is possible. nothing is ever erased from the brain, and any new traumas, such as, say, a tornado that destroys your house, re-awakens old traumas, LOL, I have had a massive string of those. I guess i am genetically connected to JOB. hard to draw the timeline. Mr Jekyll has corrupted brain, may i postulate that perhaps he is/was a molester, and the shit has hit the fan for him? just a wild, unsubstantiated guess. i do not read many comments here. saw the video, and felt that an additional one, not directly re educator abuse, would be appropriate.

Jekyll, you really need to get yourself some meds. I also pray to god that you are not in anyway related to Simon or YY. I love their writings and one personally, lots more than the other. And even more so, the Algemeiner posts comments of all persuasions. Kol Hakavod to the Jacobson brothers. YY is a gem.

amhaaretz
What is it with you guys? Whenever someone says something you disprove of, you suggest they get meds. I merely say what I believe. I usually observe and conclude based on my findings. I understand that it doesn't sit right with your feelings but it is the truth nonetheless. So you suggest that I take meds so I get to distort the truth and sing the tune you like to hear.
Please.

Let me parse your post correctly. "I merely say what I believe" emphasis here on "believe' "but it is the truth nonetheless". emphasis here on "the truth".

Did you take Logic 101 in grade school, nope, no secular subjects allowed. you are really really pathetic. I am not normally a charedi hater, unlike others here, (evidently b'tsedek), but you are a prime example of the results of charedi 'education". LOL, did Hashem at Har Sinai, tell Mosherabbeinu, that you guys should be sickos???? and that was his desire. well, to be sure, you are brain deficient. well, to be sure, you provide negative entertainment for the rest of us here. wtf does SR not eject you? that is a secondary issue.... do all of your chevrah have IQ's of less than 80? kamocha??? Inbreeding leads to insanity and mental illness. skver, satmar, wtf are you??

"Whenever someone says something you disprove of, you suggest they get meds. I merely say what I believe. I usually observe and conclude based on my findings. I understand that it doesn't sit right with your feelings but it is the truth nonetheless."

Truth? You wouldn't recognize "truth" if it walked up to you and introduced itself. You really are too sick for words.

Shmarya, again - why do you allow this walking piece of excrement to continue to post his droppings here?

Posted by: Jekyll Jacobson | June 02, 2014 at 12:19 AM

What's distressing is how firmly you believe that your subjective observations are objective and universal,

Jekyll Jacobson is wrong, wrong, wrong, and wrong. Still pretty sure calling him a disgusting vermin is no way to convince him he's wrong. Frankly, there might be no way to convince him he's wrong (people that far down the rabbit hole usually don't find their way out), but it's still very bad manners.

Strange comments.

"Still pretty sure calling him a disgusting vermin is no way to convince him he's wrong."

Convince him? I just want him to STFU.

Let me try for one last time
I know several unfortunate people my age who have been "mishandled" by adults. They toughed it out and somehow managed to put it behind them (in a sense). Up until the Rosenbergs and their likes opened old wounds.
Why is it so terrible that I am telling people to mature up? Why do you prefer that they live in agony by urging them to cone out and share their stories? Why don't you instead figure out how to help these people heal. Perhaps raise some money for them so they can consult professionals (ones with degrees...) who'll help them overcome their fears and other social deficiencies?
The very obvious answer is that you have an agenda to malign the Haredi community. Period.
I am stating elementary ideas and don't need more than a 10 year olds brain to understand such simple matter.
You are either very childish or a simple liar.

Jeff
STFU?
Infringe on my freedom of speech?

"I am stating elementary ideas and don't need more than a 10 year olds brain to understand such simple matter."

Incredible. I don't think it's possible to fake this level of cluelessness.

You should either be forcibly institutionalized or receive an Academy award.

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