Williamsburg Satmar Yeshiva Bans Woody Allen-Style Glasses

Students the Aharon Satmar faction's Williamsburg yeshiva who have plastic-frame glasses will be thrown out of yeshiva, a notice sent to parents says. "Dear Parents: We want to give you notice that your son is wearing plastic glasses, and it is banned by the rules/decrees of our Talmud Torah, therfore we warn you to make sure your son changes his glasses at the latest by Monday."

Related Post: Bobov 48 Yeshiva Bans Woody Allen's Eyeglasses Because They're "Too Goyish.”

Comments

[S M L]

...sure they are - as worn by that uber-Goy, Allen Stewart Konigsberg. Meanwhile does anyone remember that little scene in Annie Hall where he's envisioning how her WASPy relatives were perceiving him: as a Hasid in full regalia? There's a certain very delicious irony here.

[put a square into a hole]

If Woody Allen changes his frames would HE be allowed into Satmar???
Of course if he wanted to give the rebbe a donation he would be accepted.

[Reese]

Those glasses are as ugly as Wiody himself. One would think that DAVKA the Satmars would want their boys to look as unappealing as possible to the Satmar maidelles.

[jancsibacsi]

Theese hassidim have it so good with all that sec.8 food stamps that they are going nuts,they are truly going out of their minds even more then they are now, unbeleivable how stupid a human can get maybee they are not even human .

[RWisler]

I think that they should require the boys to wear John Lennon style "granny glasses".

[S M L]

@jancsibaci:

Ever see "Men in Black"? Maybe they're really aliens hiding out on earth just using lousy disguises - would explain quite a lot, actually.

[jancsibacsi]

S M Lyes i did see man in black all of them,well i think they alienate themselfs from the rest of us i grew up until the age of 14 with them i know them as well as anyone as i wrote before they have it too good here in usa, and anyone who has everything they want and more always gets on others nerves by demanding even morein the old days they suffered and earned a living today they dont work and still get everything they desire

[Moisheb]

Oh come on their own Rebbe wears a version of those glases

[Edith]

The ironic thing is that in the 1960s this was what everyone was wearing because it was almost the only type available.

Go to google, then images, then type in '60s spectacle frames'.

Wonder what type of frame the Yeshivahs were banning in those days?

[Sammy]

Can one translate the decree. Does it actually say "Woody Allen"?

[HavaMina]

What is wrong with plastic frames for glasses? I mean, how are they any more or less fashionable than metal frames? In fact, they are cheaper and often ugly as all get out. You'd think they would love them.

[ah-pee-chorus]

"Satmar Yeshiva Bans Woody Allen-Style Glasses" but condones weberman style child rape.

[Edith]

APC you are being too simplistic. You have to understand, um..er... Nah, you're spot on.

[put a square into a hole]

Sammy

NO it doesn't say anywhere woody allen . In satmar you're not suppose to know who woody is.
No tv internet no looking at the opposite sex.
You may only rape little boys in the mikvah...

[Alter Kocker]

Imbeciles have way too much time on their hands.

[old time brooklyn]

just say they are buddy holly style (buddy who who?), yes that was pretty much the frame style until lennon broke the dam - I wear my john lennon specs with pride. my daughter likes the nerd look spo I gave her the 5 or six pair I had as spairs

[Maskil]

In the early 90s I was in Borough Park at a haredi-run eyglasses store. There was a special section for those who didn't want anything in fashion. It was almost completely stacked with plastic frames.

[(The other) Eli]

In the early 90s I was in Borough Park at a haredi-run eyglasses store. There was a special section for those who didn't want anything in fashion. It was almost completely stacked with plastic frames. Posted by: Maskil  | October 13, 2013 at 11:20 PM

So what you mean to say I that hassidim were wearing plastic frames before hipsters started wearing plastic frames before it became cool to wear plastic frames?

[Eli, what me messiah?]

I'm still laughing at SML's comment about life imitating art imitating life...

[Atheodox Jew]

Dear distinguished parents,

Remember the lobster scene in Annie Hall where he's with his new non-Jewish girlfriend trying futilely to recapture a moment he had with his previous non-Jewish girlfriend? Well under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should your children wear those glasses!

With Torah blessings,
The Yeshiva staff

[Sarek]

("Looking Through the Eyes of Love", Mann & Weil, performed by Gene Pitney)

With the specs of Woody
I’m a goy who’s just taking up space,
These can’t be on my face
With the specs of Woody,
God says I have made a mistake
And cause heartache
And in the eyes of the rabbis I am
A shaygets, a momzer, a man who shouldn’t be
Part of the clergy

When I’m looking with the plastic specs
(looking with the plastic specs)
Looking with the plastic specs
(Looking with the plastic specs)
When I try to see-ee

In the eyes of the reb
I’m breaking Yeshiva rules
Can’t be in their schools
In the eyes of the reb
I’m could undermine my religion
I’m a stool pigeon
But with the specs of the Wood-man, I’m strong
I can see 20-20 that the rabbis are conning me
Any fool can see
That they’re on a control ego-trip
(A control ego-trip)
On a control ego-trip
(A control ego-trip)
Control ego trip as they claim to me-me.

Maybe they’ll believe some day
Their pronouncements are so much bray
And they no longer will have much sway
When they say to me
“We know what’s good for you”
(what’s good for you)
We know what’s good for you
(what’s good for you)
We know what’s good for you
(what’s good for you)

[Yochanan Lavie]

Good one, Sarek.

Apologies to: Zz Top — Cheap Sunglasses:

When you wake up in the morning and put tefillin on your head
The first thing you do when they tell "Gei in dred!"
Is hit that Satmar rebbe and try to beat his asses
And go get yourself some plastic glasses
Oy vey, oy vey,oy vey

Spied a little shiksa and I followed her all night
To a funky fine mikvah and I'm shvitzing like a fright
She had a midwest strut that was as sweet as kasha varnishkes
But what really knocked me out was her plastic glasses
Oy vey, oy vey,oy vey

(solo)

Now go out and get yourself some big black frames
With the glass so clear, till the rebbe goes insane
And the choice is up to you; the yeshiva will harass us:
Lennon specs or Woody's glasses
Oy vey, oy vey,oy vey

[Sarek]

YL - appropriate. You may remember the Simpsons episode where they went to NYC? Bart saw some Hasids on the sidewalk with their beards and yelled to them, "hey ZZ Top, you guys rock!"

The Hasid said, to himself, in a Yiddish NY accent, "sometimes."

[dapper danny]

Bravo! Bravo! to both songsmiths.

[Yochanan Lavie]

Thanks, DD.

Sarek: I love the Simpsons. I like the episode when Krusty was about to get married to a Congregationalist Christian, and he dumps her at the altar and his father starts dancing the hora.

[Allan]

Aren't glasses an admission of a flaw in the Creator’s “intelligent Design” of our eyes ? To show proper emunah they should ban the lenses as well as the frames !

[Sarek]

Allan - good point. Watch this space for their next proclamation: that certain eyelid shapes are immodest, or goyish, or whatever.

[R Nash]

This makes sense. I think we should ban plastic altogether. Our grandparents did not have plastic in the old country. It is very goyish. A neier is a feier. (Anything new is as dangerous as an open flame.)