Haredi Modesty Squad Bans Traditional Lifting Of Bride And Groom

Lifting the bride and groom up in the air and dancing around with them is a goyishe (non-Jewish) thing, a Jerusalem haredi modesty squad claims in a new pashkvil (poster).

 

Lifting the bride and groom up in the air and dancing around with them is a goyishe (non-Jewish) thing, a Jerusalem haredi modesty squad claims in a new pashkvil (poster). True Jews don't do it, and Jews who are doing it need to stop doing it immediately. And, these haredi protectors of "modesty" claim,  prolonged shoulder-sitting can cause premature ejaculation. (All that thinking of humping your new brother-in-law's neck can, it seems, cause you to lose your load before you manage to penetrate your new wife, causing you to have "spilled unnecessarily.)

[Hat Tip: Heathen Hassid.]

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Comments

[jancsibacsi]

All this ejeculation of their brand of insanity will cause youre load to be spilled unecessarily before you manage to penatrate youre new shiksa.

[Eli, what me messiah?]

But it was in Fiddler on the Roof!

This is anti-Tevyeism! We must take back the shtetl!

[NeverFrum]

They should outlaw dancing altogether....at some of these weddings the dance floor is so small and sometimes you accidently rub up against another buchur and then oh...oh...I'm almost there...

Delays the cumming of the messiah I tell you

[VoiceoftruthOf]

Once again you managed to find some hoax of sign with no name or real organization attached to it and somehow make a story of it.
Oh and by the way where does it say anything about premature ejaculation all it says is that it can cause him to fall and fracture something or even worse g-d forbid. I have no clue how your perverted messed up mind got premature ejaculation out of that.

[jancsibacsi]

VoiceoftruthOf--face the facts the chassidim are experts at making a mockery out of themselfs and the whole of yiddishkeit,with their chumra idiocy they manage to destroy everything that is good about judaism.

[Jake]

Nah they are talking about the chessmen bucher physically hurting himself Turing the ride and thus he will not be able to really consummate the marriage.

They did allow riding a chair.

[Yochanan Lavie]

Goyim breathe. Let's hold our breaths forever.

[Bas Melech]

VoT-
Jansci is older than you and knows what he is talking about.

[Maskil]

Posted by: Yochanan Lavie | July 23, 2013 at 10:11 PM

Hey, there's no need to be facetious. I heard a rumor, and I don't know if this is verified historically though, that Hitler used to breathe and that he was pro-breathing. So if the Nazis did it... All I'm saying is that we don't know *all* of the things the Nazis did, but as we gain new knowledge we disengage from those vile behaviors - or at the very least condemn them.

[Maskil]

Posted by: VoiceoftruthOf | July 23, 2013 at 08:25 PM

No, it doesn't. It mentions injurys from being pressed close to the back of the necks of their friends leading to failure to perform the mitzvah on the wedding night, and even worse than that "and this is sufficient to he who understands" (i.e. enough said, no reason to go into detail).

Clearly you are not the "maven" (or capable "le-havin" - depending on how you read the acronym). I personally don't run in these crowds, so I don't know myself, but I hope that premature ejaculation is the hight of the problems to which the pashkevil is referring. I really, really hope there isn't a greater risk involved in having their junk pressed up against the sweaty necks of their buddies.

[Mark H. Jay]

Maskil @ 12:47 or anyone:

Could someone please post a translation so those of us who cannot read Hebrew can judge this for ourselves?

And to Shmarya:

I recognize that you try to accurately report the substance of Hebrew text but posting accurate translations would go far to eliminating translation-based criticism such as that offered by VoT.

[S M L]

"...But it was in Fiddler on the Roof! This is anti-Tevyeism!.."

[To the tune of "Tradition"]

Erection! Erection!

YL or Sarek: need to finish this. Could be a good one with the right lyric.

[VoiceoftruthOf]

@ maskil
If you fall and fracture a bone you'll be just as incapable of performing the Mikva. So no it makes no mention at all premature ejaculation.

[Maskil]

The injury is specificly stated as taking place "during" being pressed up against the necks of collegues. But you're right, it may prevent performing the "mikva" given what I've read on this site.

[Bas Melech]

When it comes to these types of charedim, why is everything about sex? Freud would feel like a kid in a candy store with them.

[Gevezener Chusid]

@ Voice of Truth

Either you don't know enough of rabbinic Hebrew to understand what this means, or you are very young and learned your gemora from ArtScroll, but it is NOT talking about falling and fracturing bones.

I am not a blanket Hate the Haredim kind of guy, and frequently cluck with utter disgust at what some of the posters write here, but the fact is that Maskil's translation is correct.

[David]

To be obsessed with erections and ejaculations as the frumma are, is not Judaism, it is Hedonism.

[VoiceoftruthOf]

@ maskil, gevez

פציעה חמורה = a serious fracture/bruise. Still no clue how anyone got anything to do with ejaculation out of that. And no I never have used an artscrhol in my 30+ years of learning and learning gemorah written in Aramaic would not help in translating this Hebrew written poster( shows how much you know)
But either way as I said before there is no name attached to this of any person or organization which in turn makes this poster a complete hoax. For all you know it could have been typed up by Scotty himself just to fill up a slow news day.

[R Nash]

This just in. Haredim ban Passover Seder. Rav Kookoifmir and Rabeinu Haicheshturm have denounced the practice as "goyishe", stating that it descends from the symposium of the non-Jewish world. As their combined age is over 200 years, they recall this practice from Greece and Rome.

Haredim ban kaparos:
Rav Leibich Kishufstein, the Oifenmoiler Rebbe, has denounced the practice as based on non-Jewish ritual.

Haredim ban Metzitzah b'Peh:
HaRav HaGaon Modche Shmecklenmoiler, the Blutfresser Rebbe, has banned the practice as based on goyishe ideas of safety and health.

There is a joint pashkevil that pronounces the greatest curses on those evil anti-semites who practice such things in the name of our holy toireh. They are all worse than Haman and should be buried up to the neck in mud and stoned to death with pebbles and leaf blower etc.

[R Nash]

I would challenge YL to parody this story using the Oompah Loompah song in Willy Wonka. The FM nation awaits!

[Maskil]

Posted by: VoiceoftruthOf | July 24, 2013 at 10:01 AM

Dude, it's מלשון "פצוע דכא", זיל גמור; it is a penis/balls related injury, and it is בזמן ההיצמדות לאחורי הצוואר (can you read בזמן?) and it should be obvious that whoever tipped off Shmarya explained it to him contextually and was proximate enought in geography and culture to know exactly to what it's referring, not to mention the final wording re: the wedding night "or worse וד"ל."

[VoiceoftruthOf]

@ maskil
Good point you make cause פצוע acctualy come from The meaning to crush or break the andדכא Translate to male meanig the male organ which again proves what I've been saying until now

[MonseyLuke]

I have said it before, and it would solve a host of problems. Just vote the women off the island. Solved!

Luke.