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April 23, 2013

Bobov 48 Yeshiva Bans Woody Allen's Eyeglasses Because They're "Too Goyish"

Woody-allenA hasidic yeshiva in Borough Park has, in effect, banned Woody Allen's eyeglasses because they are, in the yeshiva's words, "too goyish."

I don't speak Yiddish, but the source who sent this to me claims that Bobov 48 has banned those great retro eyeglasses worn by Buddy Holly in the 1950s, Woodly Allen throughout his long career, and almost any American male – including many hasidic rebbes and haredi rabbis – who wore eyeglasses in the 1950s and early 1960s on the pretext that they are "modern" and "too goyish":



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yes, i'm sure g-d is quite concerned with the shape/frame of glasses.

Does this mean that no one can dress up for Purim as Groucho Marx?

As I remember it, when plastic glass frames first came out in the 1960s, there was basically one style and that was it. Bit like the number of colours of the T Model Ford.

You can't make this stuff up - it's freakin' unbelievable! Mass insanity. Unreal.

It seems that some people in positions of authority have lost all sense of perspective. They come out with inane decisions designed to micro-manage their followers. Is this just misguided leadership from people who need a virus scan and wisdom reboot or is it something more sinister and is just about consolidating their power and privelege ?

What about the "kosher" glasses that blur one's eyes so you shouldn't see certain things? What frames are those? What about wire rimmed glasses made famous by John Lennon and John Denver? What about the "aviator" styles popular in the 70's and 80's? Where does it end?

coming soon to store near you

kosher glasses with a valid hashgucha

I had one of that type of frame once. I had to get rid of them. At the supermarket, they kept making me buy bacon and shrimp.

Apologies to: Cheap Sunglasses by ZZ Top:

When you wake up to daven and the Rebbe's in your bed
The first thing you do is you schrei "Gei in dred!"
Is hit J Streets a-runnin' and try to cut your classes
And go get yourself some trief black glasses
Oy vey, 3x

Spied a Yiddish thing and I followed her all night
In a funky fine sheitl and her teichel's kind of tight
She had a Flatbush strut that was as sweet as charoses
But what really knocked me out was her trief black glasses
Oy vey, 3x

(solo)

Nu, go out and get yourself some big black frames
With the glass so dark the rabbi won't even know your name
And the choice is up to you just like Bilaam's asses:
Kosher frames or treif black glasses
Oy vey, 3x

I wonder whether the rabbis will be giving certified kosher glasses to wear.

rabbis' list of important issues facing community:

1. shape of eyeglasses

2. microscopic bugs

..........


..........

97. child sex abuse

98. rampant sec. 8 fraud

99. widespread tax fraud

100. e-rate fraud

101. poverty caused by lack of proper education

Ah YL, beat me to an appropriate song.

Random musings:

If Woody Allen/Buddy Holly frames are "too modern," then what do they consider acceptable old styles? Monocles?

And what would they think of what I refer to as "old lady in the Catskills" frames - the ones with the giant fins coming up out of the top of the lenses?

Did they attach photos of acceptable frames? I wouldn't want to incur God's wrath by wearing a non-Kosher style.

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear goyishe glasses.

Does this mean that if hipsters start dressing like chassidim, they'll ban their own chassic dress as too "modern" and "goyish"?

ahpeechorus ,,you said it best

Harry -- They can wear them, we cannot. Good find.

So Jews should dress all uniform like facists and communists!

40 years ago, the Bobovers were considered modern because they wore gold-rimmed glasses. (Medicaid only paid for plastic - so Satmarers were wearing plastic).

actually the second paragraph points this out... styles change and what was once considered acceptable is now "modern".

hitting my "LIKE" button for ah-pee-chorus's comment

Ah-Pee-Chorus, Bravo!
Is today April 1? Seriously, does Shmaryu only b'di'avad tell us????

Can someone retranslate the Yiddish.
Methinks that they are banned because he is/was a pedophile, more or less incestuous, but then again, those characteristics are the She'ifot of the Gedolim.

without a picture, how are they supposed to know what the glasses look like. they can't use the internet

shimon, gevezener chusid , GAON-

thanks!

Bobov bans plastic glasses and Vizhnitz bans metal (http://failedmessiah.typepad.com/failed_messiahcom/2011/02/vizhnitz-rebbe-bans-metal-glasses-and-contact-lenses-234.html).

Whats an ehrliche yid to do?

Chazal Qaeda-

rimless?

Does this apply to the new Google Glass versions as well?

Seeing eye dog is tameh.

rabbis' list of important issues facing community:

1. shape of eyeglasses

2. microscopic bugs

..........


..........

97. child sex abuse

98. rampant sec. 8 fraud

99. widespread tax fraud

100. e-rate fraud

APC: You left out # 3

3. Kosher For Passover cosmetics

It seems that now, bobov worry about fashion and design.Perhaps they will think about some colors for their garment too.

This ruling is really perfect if one wants to capture the State of contemporary ultra orthodox Jews.

APC did a great job with the list of priorities held by the ruling Rabbinate.

To be an ultra orthodox Jew today, one must be at peace putting the following list as your commandments:
(10 was too many, so now there are 5 in practice)
1. OCD-like obsession with minor Kabbalistic nuances (Facial hair is more important to them than honesty)
2. Cultural ethnocentricity (We do it, therefore it is correct)
3. Abject antipathy towards Man (Gentiles are not even Humans)
4. General immorality in business dealings (where to begin ... )
5. Sociopathic lack of grasp in all matters related to sexual behavior (Hide the women, and pray for that erection to go away!)

Moshe Levy-

yup, and dishwasher detergent.

pard-

thanks. and you sure summed up their culture.

If is a good thing!

These people look like geeks from the 80's

They're gonna make new glasses that have a picture of the rebbe in the lens, so they will always see holiness.

Viznitz-Monsey & Skvere Rebbes wear modern glasses

isnt the dress of chassidim copied from polish non-jews 200 years ago

They can only go back to 1352. Look:
http://www.newyorkcarver.com/inventions.htm
My guess is that the rebbes are exclusively selling "kosher" glasses.

So, no thick, dark plastic frames, no logos, only thin, light and metal.

If you dig through Bobov's dusty archives (perhaps left behind in Crown Heights), you'll probably find a similar memo, except that this one bans thin metal frames and insists on thick, black, plastic ones.

Bobov bans plastic glasses and Vizhnitz bans metal.

Whats an ehrliche yid to do?

Posted by: Chazal Qaeda | April 23, 2013 at 10:36 AM

Answer - lenses.

But then that will become "modern" and then all ehrliche yidden will have to buy glasses.

Also, what does one do if his father is from Bobov and his mother is from Viznitz?

funny, it would seem that there was never anything more alien from mankind than chassidim

Bobov bans plastic glasses and Vizhnitz bans metal.

Whats an ehrliche yid to do?

well, if he is jewish, and wants to do the right thing the jewish way, he can ignore both. as they aren't jewish!

The time has come for Shmarya to include a 'Fatwa' tab in the navigation bar at the top. Really, these 'decrees' need their own category at this point.

But Woody Allen as a Hasid in 'Annie Hall' has to be okay. Right?

http://bit.ly/ZHoiiH

"[...] but the source who sent this to me claims that Bobov 48 has banned those great retro eyeglasses worn by Buddy Holly in the 1950s, Woodly Allen throughout his long career, and almost any American male [...]"

In the military service those glasses used to be issued to recruits with vision problems. BCGs -- as in 'birth control glasses' -- the 'beloved' standard-issue specs.

Apc, you forgot:
#4 Kosher for Passover fur hats
#5 Hanging out on the most popular avenue in Flatbush on Saturday night.
#6 Making sure quinoa becomes kitniyot

my father graduated from a bobover school in the 1960's.
about half the class in the photo was wearing those glasses!
working on getting a scan...

Posted by: Nigritude Ultramarine
"BCGs"

Oh, Jeez, those things are IED proof. Had an ordinance cargo container dropped on mine, came out of it with only one of the arms slightly bent.

Hmm, I wonder if I could replace the missing plates on my old OTV with discarded BCGs. They probably offer at least type IV protection. =)

Here's a picture of the bobover rebbe honoring Dr. Bernard Lander at a bobover yeshiva dinner in 1967 – with his arm around him!
Guess what kind of glasses the honoree is wearing.

http://www.tourolib.org/sites/default/files/022_1967%20Rebbe%20Bobover%20copy.jpg

www.vosizneias.com/129164/2013/04/24/borough-park-ny-menahel-explains-glasses-ban/

You've got to be kidding me!!! PUTZ's like these old men, are one of the major reason's driving my own Atheism..... When I was a child 60 years ago, my own grand-father was one of these pathetic old men.... You couldn't even talk to the old Bastard!!! He never took his face away from his damned prayer book, long enough!

Bobov must have heard that women find nerd glasses so hot they are compelled to show off their bare wrist bones.

Lol, good old religion. Never fails to disappoint in the comedy club.

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