Israel’s Haredi-Controlled Chief Rabbinate Wants To Regulate Shape And Size Of Baked Goods

The Kashrut Department of Israel’s haredi-controlled state-funded-and-sanctioned Chief Rabbinate and the owners of large commercial bakeries and cookie factories recently met in Jerusalem to determine a course of action to resolve a crisis – the currently unregulated shape of baked goods.

Rabbis Bar-Giora, left, and Sabag, right, carefully examine the shapes of baked goods

Israel’s Haredi-Controlled Chief Rabbinate Wants To Regulate Shape And Size Of Baked Goods
Shmarya Rosenberg • FailedMessiah.com

The Kashrut Department of Israel’s haredi-controlled state-funded-and-sanctioned Chief Rabbinate and the owners of large commercial bakeries and cookie factories recently met in Jerusalem to determine a course of action to resolve a crisis – the currently unregulated shape of baked goods.

Radio Kol Hai reports that the rabbis want to set standards for the shape baked goods. Dairy-filled pastries would have a set series of shapes, pareve pastries another and meat-filled pastries like Moroccan cigars another.

The shapes were discussed as the rabbis and bakers sat around a table full of various types of baked good that no one ate. The bakery items were there so the rabbis and bakers could see how difficult it is to distinguish between milk, pareve and meat pastries and compare and contrast their shapes and sizes.

Rabbi Bar-Giyora reportedly opened the meeting by listing many complaints he had received about accidentally mixing up milk, pareve and meat pastries that came from from consumers and retailers alike.

Bar-Giyora cited the halakhic (Jewish law) principle that people are required to be more stringent in matters pertaining to danger to life than they are in ritual and other halakhic areas. He reportedly recounted stories of “lactose-intolerant” people who were rushed to hospitals after taking a bite out of a cheese boureka is shaped like and looks like a potato boureka.

Bar-Giyora then started a powerpoint presentation he had prepared. It recommended  assigning various shapes for the different types of pastries. For example, he wants to make the triangle-shaped bourekas cheese only, while square bourekas would be parve only. Another idea of Bar-Giyora’s is to change the shape of mini-bourekas. The open-top variety would be dairy and the closed-top parve ones. Regarding meat “cigars,” Bar-Giyora recommended the parve one’s length be doubled to distinguish them from the meat-filled variety.

The bakers are said to be open to the proposed changes – provided they can find ways to adjust their multimillion dollar equipment to accommodate them.

The Chief Rabbinate will reportedly release its new pastry shape guidelines in the near future, regardless.

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Comments

[Rebitzman]

I am guessing we are about to be subjected to a string of "suggested" shapes from the FM community.

This should be fun to read.

[seymour]

there goes all those rated x kosher pastries

[Yochanan Lavie]

I guess the Erotic bakery in NYC is not getting a hechksher.

[Garnel Ironheart]

If this is the worst problem facing the Jewish people today then we should all shout with joy

[Yochanan Lavie]

Items for sale at the Kosher Erotic Bakery:

Lascivious lukshen kugel

Raunchy rugleach

Kiddushin knishes

Sexy sufganiot

Horny humantaschen

Bodacious bobka

Kallah challah

All guaranteed kemech yoshon and pas yisroel.

[Gary]

To quote Philip Roth- "Lunatic piety about nothing"

[A. Nuran]

Afterwards they went to the mikveh for some delicious, golden, and most of all cylindrical cream-filled twinks

[(The Other) Eli]

Cheese had little to no lactose in it.
How do you even accidentally eat that much cheese? You can't taste the difference between a cheese boureka and a potato boureka after one bite?
So that's a sakanah, but giving herpes to babies is perfectly safe. Nice to see the priority of these lunatics

[Jake]

The rabbinate doing something practical for a change.

[Dov]

If the rabbis are worried about the shape of their meat cigars, they need to discuss that with the mohels.

[Runner1983]

You have got to be kidding us, right? This must have been posted as a joke, right? You can't be serious!

It never ceases to amaze me how the Haredim are so interested in the minutiae of how to live one's life, but then protect child abusers and vilify, threaten and shun victims and their parents if they report the crime to police.

[Luke]

I was always put off by the shape of hamantaschen . A little too anatomically correct, but then again, that is just me. :). Luke.

[Office of the Chief Rabbi]

If they're long, they're phallic. If they're round, they're mammaric. New motto for tziusdik pastry: "Cubic, not pubic!"

[jancsibacsi]

It all emanates the size of things from sexual hangups by theese rebbis,the payes is another one the longer the better,no wonder that there are so many sexual deviats among the fanatics,and of course all those molesters thios is the mindset of our holey rebbunim the fixation with sizes

[SkepticalYid]

Posted by: Office of the Chief Rabbi | February 08, 2013 at 01:15 PM

Wow. Do you realize that means no one will want to be seen buying rugelach? Everyone will opt for strudel!

[BeenThereDoneThat]

To me it sounds like very good business sense.

Expanding the product range they cover, brings better returns to the shareholders.

How else do you expand your financial empire? You look for new products.

Looking forward to halachikally approved:

- bedsheets
- sausages/frankfurts (shape-wise)
- cars (no, sorry sir, that one has been deemed by your rabbi to be too sexy for you..Have a look at this approved model instead..)
- pens and stationary
-etc. you are welcome to add to the list.

[Levi Keller]

The other Eli: my brother had to be rushed to the hospital after eating a 5 gram candy. You are not a doctor, so don't scoff about medical issues. But as you might have guessed this is not really what the fuss is about.

The real issue of course is with dairy filled cylindrical objects that might chance upon the unwary mouth, thereby filling it with a creamy substance and causing much spiritual harm to both pastry and mouth.

[Roley Poley Yoiley]

Luke - We'll be sure to include a "cherry" hamantosh in your shalach manos this year. By the way, I happen to be partial to poppy - perhaps we'll make a hybrid hamantosh this year - we'll call it "pop cherry" - ykoi dig?

[Luke]

RPY: I do ! :). Luke.

[NeverFrum]

This is indeed a huge problem...I have lost many nights sleep over this issue over the years. Finally the Rabbis are spending the time to tackle this contentious issue that plagues our community. The messiah's arrival is imminent...I can just feel it. :P

[Darth Zeidah]

Would someone kindly remind me, please, just when does the real Purin fall this year?

[Hometown Postville]

Round artisan breads look too much like female breasts!! Must stick to geometric shapes!!!!

[SkepticalYid]

Posted by: BeenThereDoneThat | February 08, 2013 at 03:03 PM

Chas V'Shalom someone should accidentally inhale a bug while breathing. Rabbinically approved gas masks, air filters and oxygen tanks will be the order of the day.

[mimi]

This actually makes a lot of sense. And someone with a dairy allergy can indeed die from a small amount of dairy.

http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Kill-Birthday-Girl-Allergic/dp/0307588122

[Abe]

Shmarya, Actually the best person to explain this in good detail would be ANY qualified rabbi. There are issues in Shulchan Aruch discussing mixing up parve and milchig bread. In fact I believe, the owning of milchic bread is prohibited because you might eat it with fleishig. So the Rabbis here are trying to make commonly recognized SIMANIM (signs) so that owners of the pastries (here) can easily differentiate between milchig, parve and fleisig pastries.

[Shmarya]

Um, I know that, Abe.

I also know Jews have had these pastries for hundreds of years without rabbi mandated shapes.

[Better Than You]

Jancsi:
Yes, size matters... 'narrow' mindedness and 'tiny' brains are clear signs that you are of Hungarian descent.

Off topic: you claim to own two properties in Brooklyn. Are you filling your tenants' needs or you're just another slumlord? Just curious.

[jancsibacsi]

Better Than You-DI BIST GANTS MISHIGE,NOT HALF BUT TOTTALY MISHIGE ,YOU ARE MENTALLY UNSTABLE GO GET HELP,DI FARRIKTE BEHEIME.

[put a square into a hole]

To Abe!
In Isreal the rabbinate always had a special siman for parve and dairy, square was dairy and triangle was parve. What the hell does size have to do with it???
Are we talking about a girl checking out a boy's shmekel for the right size to go out on a date with???
Give me a break.

[Simon]

Is this from the Onion?

[Sarek]

So you certainly cannot mix a canoli with a donut.