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February 06, 2013

Australian Child Sex Abuse Survivors Drop Beit Din Lawsuit Against Chabad's Rabbi Manis Friedman

Rabbi manis friedman“Earlier today I welcomed the opportunity to discuss with Rabbi Friedman his deeply offensive remarks. I commenced the phone conversation by sharing with Rabbi Friedman my personal story—that I was sexually abused over a period of several years by two paedophiles within the Chabad-Lubavitch movement, more specifically the Yeshivah community, in Melbourne. I also informed him of the ongoing cover-ups within Yeshivah, and the intimidation and harassment that me, my family and some of our supporters have been subjected to.…"

Rabbi manis friedman
Rabbi Manis Friedman

Originally published at 11:25 pm CST 2-5-2013

The new Australian anti-child-sexual-abuse organization Tzedek has decided to drop its beit din proceeding against Rabbi Manis Friedman. Manny Waks, Tzedek's founder, writes [the links are mine, not Manny's]:

I would like to advise that at around 2pm today Melbourne time I had the opportunity to speak to US-based Rabbi Manis Friedman about his offensive remarks. The following is my statement:
 
“Earlier today I welcomed the opportunity to discuss with Rabbi Friedman his deeply offensive remarks. I commenced the phone conversation by sharing with Rabbi Friedman my personal story—that I was sexually abused over a period of several years by two paedophiles within the Chabad-Lubavitch movement, more specifically the Yeshivah community, in Melbourne. I also informed him of the ongoing cover-ups within Yeshivah, and the intimidation and harassment that me, my family and some of our supporters have been subjected to.
 
I explained to Rabbi Friedman the deep hurt many have felt by his remarks and the damage that it has caused. I also noted that we have turned this negative incident into a positive one, especially in the area of community awareness on the issue of child sexual abuse. In particular, one of the most positive developments has been that a number of new victims have come forward over the past week as a direct result of the publicity. One of these victims has already made a police statement.
 
I made it clear to Rabbi Friedman that I represent many other victims, their families and many within the community, and that my views should be seen in that context. 
 
In response, Rabbi Friedman acknowledged the great work that is currently being undertaken in this area within the ultra-Orthodox community globally. He also congratulated us on some of our achievements (e.g. the fact that there are now three major court-cases within the Jewish community in Melbourne).
 
Rabbi Friedman also referred to his apology and reiterated some of its content. He was also committed to continue to address the issue of child sexual abuse. Due to the individual needs of the victims, Rabbi Friedman is reluctant to deal with this issue in a public forum but rather to address it privately with victims themselves. He rightly noted that there could not be a “one size fits all” approach to this and he therefore prefers to deal with this complex and sensitive issue privately.
 
Rabbi Friedman has agreed for me to provide his personal email address to victims and survivors of child sexual abuse within the Jewish community. He will happily respond to their emails.
 
As a result of today’s development, Tzedek would like to advise that it is withdrawing its application for legal action through the Battei Din of Sydney and Crown Heights.
 
I would like to take this opportunity to thank the community for their ongoing support—especially those who publicly supported Tzedek on this issue. I would also like to acknowledge and thank the three leading Orthodox rabbis within Australia, Rabbi Moshe Gutnick, Rabbi Meir Shlomo Kluwgant and Rabbi Yoram Ulman for issuing their strong public statement. It is essential that each and every one of us stands up in the face of injustice and ignorance. I am delighted with the positive response by so many within our community.
 
We look forward to continue to advocate for victims of child sexual abuse within the Jewish community. ”

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WARNING TO SURVIVORS! It is NOT in your best interest to communicate with Manis Friedman. He can not offer you anything. Prior to anyone talking to him we all must demand that he and anyone else who wants to work with survivors go back to school and get a clinical degree and then as part of their training volunteer at a legitimate rape crisis under the clinical supervision of a "REAL" expert in the field. Jewish survivors like every other survivor only deserves the best possible care -- and should NOT be manipulated by those who are self-professed experts.

Kudos to Manny Waks and Tzedek for getting Manis Friedman to back down from his ignorant, insensitive statements. I agree with Vicki; Manis should stick to referrring abuse victims to qualified trained people. If he cares he can be someone who uses his influence to get Yeshivah Centre of Melbourne and other recalcitrant Chabad institutions to do the right thing, admit their complicity in abuse, properly apologize and compenstate their victims and support the prosecution of all perpetrators. I aint holding my breath. But if I am wrong and he goes the distance I will publicly praise him.

Jesus is coming.....he pissed.

The shit hit the fan so he changed his world view of 40 years in a matter of days? Uh huh.

Well done Manny.

"He also congratulated us on some of our achievements (e.g. the fact that there are now three major court-cases within the Jewish community in Melbourne)" - very, very sad that this is an achievement.

Rabbi Friedman has agreed for me to provide his personal email address to victims and survivors of child sexual abuse within the Jewish community. He will happily respond to their emails.

I'm guessing this refers to angry victims who want to address their displeasure with Manis's statements, not to potential victims who are seeking counseling. I hope that's what's meant.

Moshe Emes

that is right exposing fools, criminal activities, scams is called hate when the perpetrador is a yid

interesting

They are going to give themselves whiplash from patting themselves on the back.

I would no more give a victim Manny's (either of them) personal email for discussion of things that they refuse to make public than I would send a young boy naked into a mikvah.

Those victims are barter. Disgusting.

To Steven

What IS very sad is the fact that there are thousands of pedophiles molesters and rapists that are being protected by a wall of silence!

Dear Rabbi Manis Friedman,

Please do yourself and others a favor and watch Joel Engelman on YOUTUBE. You will learn much about the heartbreak of victims.

From one whose been helped by the cllip.

All I can say to Manny and other victims, is do not be fooled by the wolf wearing sheepskin.

As much as they want to think (giving people the benifit of the doubt) that people like Manis have changed their minds, or learnt from their mistakes, they cannot be so readily trusted. In private, it is probable that they still hold the same ideas, and have not changed.

But hopefully this will change in the future.

Kudos to you Manny for what you are doing.

There's a lot to be said about Manis Friedman, there's a page on The Awareness Center's site all about him: http://theawarenesscenter.blogspot.com/2013/01/rabbi-manis-friedmans-misinformation.html

There never was any application nor any chance that the Beis Din would take the case.

Waks is not being very honest, which brings into question his integrity at all

Prior to anyone talking to him we all must demand that he and anyone else who wants to work with survivors go back to school and get a clinical degree.
Vickie--
As someone who has that "clinical degree", you more than anyone who has yet to be initiated into the perverse outlook of psychology, must be aware that by expecting a psyche-type to help a victim is tantamount to hiring the self-same person who created the problem in the first place to "fix" it.
Would you call upon the likes of Alfred Kinsey, Masters and Johnson, Arnold Lazarus,or Albert Ellis to "therapize" such victims-- all of these being pychologists who encouraged promiscuity and perversion?
Would you also advise a "victim of arson" to hire the culprit who burned down his home to rebuild it?
"Come into my web said the spider to the fly". You as a pyche-type can keep to your own colleagues-- I'll take the likes of Manis Friedman any day. and advise others to do the same.
I'll take the advice of Manis

Mendel, what's your license number. Your licensing agency would like to read that comment.

Oh God, another believer in the "Avigdor Miller" school of thought. This "Mendel" fellow uses the same crap that the lying jackass Avigdor Miller did, he takes simplistic and popular-but-untrue "beliefs" that people have about a certain subject and uses those simplistic beliefs to make a case against something. Here's an example from his own cookie-jar...

The Talmud (Yevamos 60) says: R Shimon ben Yochai says: A convert who is less that three years and a one day is fit to the "kahuna".

If I used the "Mendel" or "Avigdor Miller" method of exegesis, I'd say that Jews named Cohen are permitted to fuck 3 year old converts. Thus, Judaism is a pedophilic religion and is evil.

Mendel's evil method of arguing his worthless hareidi beliefs must be exposed for the sham that they are. Because Mendel can bring a few examples that are simplistically distasteful in the history of psychiatry, his weak mind makes up the argument that psychaiatry is all bad.

Mendel is intellectually retarded as evidenced by his simplistic and devious posts here. His worthless arguments show him to be a product of the rote, intellectually empty world of hareidi brainwashing. He belongs in a Pakastani madrasah where the same type of "learning" and religion is practiced with equal validity to the yeshiva.

Posted by: mendel | February 06, 2013 at 02:12 PM


Here's what a rational Lubav had to say:

http://www.jewishcommunitywatch.org/open-letter-from-deputy-d-a-benny-forer-addressing-manis-friedman/

I'll take an authority like him over a stain on the soul of humanity like you or Manis, any day.

Mendel's evil method of arguing his worthless hareidi beliefs must be exposed for the sham that they are.
R. Wisler-- Is this critic of psychology also a haredi? Keep flailing away at me-- until you trip over your own tongue.

The Road to Malpsychia a review by a thoughtful realistic Pychiatrst.

William C. Beatty MD

This review is from The Road to Malpsychia: Humanistic Psychology and Our Discontents (Hardcover)
As a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst I have been exposed to many theories about the human mind. I have had ample opportunity to see which of these theories when applied to a given situation is most likely to be of help. It has been startling to me how many elaborate models of the mind and corresponding therapies are not only obscure but disorganized, unverifiable, and unaccountable. Joyce Milton's fast paced book is clear and concise in examining the parents of Humanistic Psychology and its theories. (I had not known where all that silly stuff about encounter groups,
LSD, etc. came from but now I do.) In examining this movement Ms. Milton suggests origins for many of the cultural and political aberancies which have been so antithetical to the best of American institutions and values.

The Humanistic Psychology Movement seemed to assert that the highest form of human mental activity was the quest for the Ecstacy of Self-Congratulation. Ms. Milton wryly describes the resultant frenetic, self-deluded, and self-serving Flakiness which often passed for Advanced Deep Thought and which justified in the mind of the affected the wholesale overhaul of everything. The ability to discern Nonsense in our culture has been greatly enhanced by this book. Another great part of this lively book is the dark humor to be continuously found in the absurdities of popular Psycholgy. I highly recommend The Road to Malpsychia...

Mendel, I think your license is written in Dick Tracy disappearing ink but I love that phrase "Ecstacy (sic) of Self-Congratulation" because that is a perfect description of both the Mannys. Though they are at opposite ends of the spectrum legally and sociologically, they both talk in terms of themselves.

Egocentrism makes for the best villains. Most people convicted of crimes have very high self esteem.

Mr. Waks, I've said it before and I'll say it again... get a good PR guy. He'll count how many times you say "I" and help you communicate more effectively, to a wider audience and for a longer period of time. The lines of demarcation are blurred.

Posted by: mendel | February 06, 2013 at 09:38 PM
"Dear Rabbi Friedman
I am writing to you today as a professional in my specific field, to protest your recent video discussing child molesters and the effects of child-molestation. While I am sure you have received countless letters, emails, telephone calls and other correspondence protesting your ignorant view, I am nevertheless writing to continue to express the disgust I have for your comments.
I am a frum, Lubavitch, Oholie-Torah-educated member of our collective society. I also happen to be one of the only District Attorney’s in the United States who is all the above. From all the frum people that I know who have held a similar type job, I am certainly the longest tenured employee of a DA office. As a result, I have particular perspective and insight into many matters pertaining to criminal law.I have had many encounters, interviews, discussions and trials involving sexual abuse.
I have had a variety of training, both formal and informal, dealing with these topics. I have also examined and cross-examined “expert” witnesses on these matters. What I have learned is that sexual abuse is truly the worst harm a person can perpetrate on society and is worse than murder
.Ultimately, the perspective that is perpetuated by Rabbonim such as you is directly in line with the Catholic Church. Demean, diminish and disregard any victims. It is severely misplaced and dangerous. I am unaware whether you have ever had a candid conversation with a victim of sexual abuse or whether you took them seriously, but from professional experience, I can assure you of the lasting impact that most suffer.
The intense pain a victim feels and the harmful resulting impact to society is degenerative. Flippant disregard of these feelings is not just insensitive, but is ignorant and harmful. The extreme violation of a child’s person has an enduring consequence no matter how much it is trivialized.
As a District Attorney, I have dealt with a wide variety of victims. I have witnessed the pain suffered by murder-victim’s families and have seen families torn apart by drug abuse. I have been in court as victims wept over the untimely death of a loved one and have seen the hardships endured by victims of various other physical crimes. However, nothing compares to the pain and suffering of a sexual abuse victim. Not only do they live with this pain daily, but they have to contend with community members’ (and in our case so-called “Rabbonim”) daily denial of these incidents. Your thoughtless comments have furthered this pain and fostered more unnecessary agony.
In our community I am continually amazed that no crime brings out more communal support for the perpetrator than sexual molestation. I have been shocked to walk into courtrooms and observe overwhelming support for a monster, despite vast evidence of his guilt. I further find it shocking that the Rabbonim are so eager to “clear” a molester of such wrongdoing, justifying their actions under a variety of misplaced and misunderstood Halachic concepts.[5]
Moreover, there have been countless instances of Rabbonim seeking to prevent victims from going to the police. A variety of tactics are used, all of which stem from extraordinary distortions of the Torah. Rabbonim are not sex experts. They also have very limited power in both preventing future sexual abuse and in helping victims overcome the past harms. Accordingly, it is imperative that Rabbonim encourage all victims to immediately contact local authorities to deal with abuse scenarios. Rabbonim who demand the power and right to determine whether a victim should come forward are nothing more than egotistical and arrogant.
The myopic and ridiculous view that you have perpetrated, along with many Rabbonim, needs to be corrected and fixed. It needs to be acknowledged by Jewish leaders in a profound way – one that does more than merely pay lip-service to the issue. You need to express true teshuva in a constructive and helpful way that will assist future victims and condemn future predators. At this point, public condemnation of molesters, in general, is simply insufficient; more must be done.
In Tanya, the Alter Rebbe reflects on many instances of Halachic sexual misconduct, revealing how dangerous such misconduct is. The Chitas for this past Shabbos discusses that sexual deviance is equivalent, if not worse than idol worship. That such actions completely removes G-d from one’s soul, to the extent that a gnat is of a holier nature.
I urge you to not only publicly recant your recent statements but to rededicate yourself to assisting victims and condemning predators. To doing everything in your power to bring these monsters to justice. This is true teshuva.
Sincerely,
Benny Forer

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