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November 06, 2012

Self-Styled Israeli ‘Kabbalists’ Give Romney A Jewish Name, Pray For His Success

Mitt-RomneyThe ‘secret ritual’ allegedly began with a frantic long distance call from unnamed American supporters of Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney to a group of self-styled kabbalists in Jerusalem asking them to urgently pray for a Romney victory.

Mitt-Romney
Mitt Romney

Self-Styled Israeli ‘Kabbalists’ Give Romney A Jewish Name, Pray For His Success
Shmarya Rosenberg • FailedMessiah.com

The ‘secret ritual’ allegedly began with a frantic long distance call from unnamed American supporters of Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney to a group of self-styled kabbalists in Jerusalem asking them to urgently pray for a Romney victory.

“They asked us to bring about heavenly mercy [for Romney],” a haredi radio host, Shmuel Ben-Atar, who participated in the ‘secret ritual’ told Yidiot Achranot.

So earlier today the ‘kabbalists’ cobbled together a quorum of ten men at Jerusalem's tiny Ish Chayil yeshiva and held a secret prayer service – which they promptly leaked to the press – on Romney’s behalf.

The self-styled kabbalists chanted special prayers and incantations, and changed Romney’s first name to “Moshe,” the Hebrew of “Moses,” to boot, while adding a suffix to it usually reserved for prominent Torah scholars that blesses him with long life. Mitt Romney the prominent Mormon became “Moshe Romney, shlita.”

"This kind of prayer can turn worlds upside down," Ben-Atar claimed. "We ask the people of Israel to pray that Obama – who doesn't like Israel – is brought down."

A delegation from the yeshiva is also scheduled to travel pray at the Western Wall for Romney tonight at midnight.

"Tonight we will pray profusely for an American leader who will hear our plight," Ben-Attar told Yediot Achranot.

Ad hoc groups of self-styled kabbalists linked to hard right Israeli political and religious groups, especially to Kahanist groups, occasionally surface to pray for certain politicians or, more frequently, to pray that certain politicians die.

These groups rarely contain any acknowledged kabbalists or rabbinic leaders, and their prayer services and ‘secret’ rituals which are immediately leaked to the media – or even covered by the media as they happen live – are almost always staged by these ‘kabbalists’ as publicity generators and as fundraisers for those hard right groups and themselves.

They were also used by the hard right to stir up hatred against Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin, and as a way to encourage violence against him.

Rabin was eventually assassinated by an Orthodox Israeli Jew of Yemeni descent, Yigal Amir, who was raised in an ultra-nationalist home with both haredi and Zionist Orthodox influences.

Amir strongly opposed the Oslo Peace Accords and any agreement with Palestinians that would cede any amount of land to a Palestinian state.

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"...and held a secret prayer service – which they promptly leaked to the press" I love it, I just love it!


The self-styled kabbalists chanted special prayers and incantations, and changed Romney’s first name to “Moshe,” the Hebrew of “Moses,” to boot, while adding a suffix to it usually reserved for prominent Torah scholars that blesses him with long life. Mitt Romney the prominent Mormon became “Moshe Romney, shlita.”

How is this different from Mormons post-baptizing Jews?

Shmarya, would you have any idea if these are the same guys who prayed for Rabin's and Sharon's destruction?

80,000 thousands Israel Americans voted for Romney. And, the reason for that is one issue Israel.

How are these guys allowed to vote?

Milhouse asked: "How are these guys allowed to vote?"

They are US citizens, so under US law, they can vote in national elections. They are also required to comply with US tax law, which has been getting very burdensome in recent years. Not only are they required to file annual income tax returns, but they are also required to file annual financial disclosure forms. Many Americans living abroad are out of compliance with their filing requirements and may one day be assessed very heavy penalties, if caught.

"Tonight we will pray profusely for an American leader who will hear our plight," Ben-Attar told Yediot Achranot.

What plight? It's a free ride for them all the way.

I told my cousin about kapparot the other day. His response: "I'm so ashamed to be a Jew." I think it applies here as well.

How is this different from Mormons post-baptizing Jews?

Posted by: Sarek | November 06, 2012 at 03:38 PM

Romney is a living Moron and he wants it; dead Jews are Jews. Jews don't get baptized. Dead Jews have no way to stop it. Usually. Some fiddle with the weather and what not.

How is this different from Mormons post-baptizing Jews?

You have a strong point there, Sarek.
Though Romney didn't die yet!
Otherwise there is no difference.
Those idiots conducted on him a virtual 'bris mila' in absentia. I always maintain, that our clowns are more dangerous to us than say the mormons.

They should be calling him Heilige Gatkes.

I'm glad it was not the kabbalistic procedure with the ten black candles...

Where to even start......

Shall we speculate who performed the MBP when Romney was 'converted'?

Silly me, I thought we prayed for God to hear our plight, not for a human to do so.

What are these guys' position on the prayers for the country and Israel? Do their prayer books have them? Might it be a bit cynical if they pray for Romney to beat Obama but not for the State of Israel (and for their followers outside of Israel to not pray for the leaders of their country)?

Isn't this a little like a kid praying for a new shiny bicycle?

If praying works why does it matter who becomes president.

Steven W,how dare you suggest we pray HKBH for help????Anyone knows Menachem Mendel is the one to worship!Isn't it written in the Gospels(which are,for your information,the basis of Chabad theology)that "G-d loved the world so much that He gave his only begotten son Menachem Mendel Schneerson that whosoever believes in him shall not perish,but have eternal life!"

Abu, haha very funny. Even the craziest lubavichers don't believe that God had a son, or that menachem mendel was/is his son. They believe that he is mashiach, or that he is actually still alive, which is perplexing at best, and downright scary and dangerous at worst. If you're gonna make fun of a bunch of idiots, at least get your facts right.

Posted by: Sarek | November 06, 2012 at 03:38 PM

They attribute these titles to him now, and then he will baptise their souls as mormons once they're dead.

I don't think these guys understand the concept of election results vs. situations caused by a series of uncoordinated and unrelated decisions by humans. This failure would also explain their lack of collective effort to fulfill the mitzvah of building the Temple, as well as other mitzvoth requiring collective action while remaining imperatives for the individual (who cannot possibly fulfill them alone).

These are not the same guys who put the curse on Teddy & Rabin.

I told my cousin about kapparot the other day. His response: "I'm so ashamed to be a Jew." I think it applies here as well.

Posted by: Jeff | November 06, 2012 at 04:27 PM

Jeff, you were ashamed to be a Jew the day you were born.

Schlimazel is a Jewish name?

Brunhilde, my cat , hasn't been feeling well lately. She chewed up my teffilin that I inadvertently left near her litter box and the vet told me that a piece of the leather strap has lodged in her small intestine. He said that prayer might be her only hope.
I want to change her name to Shegundalleh.
How can I contact these Kabbalists?

Unfortunately their magic spells did not work. Obama has won.

Loserovitch?

I guess it didn't help Romney Obama won

Look at the bright side, now we get to impeach him for Benghazi.

Posted by: Korben Dallas
"Look at the bright side, now we get to impeach him for Benghazi."

You are so cuuute when you guys are so deranged. ^.^ I think your "Intelligence MultiPass" has just expired, Bubbeh. =)

This kind of prayer can turn worlds upside down

DARN! They must have prayed for popular votes instead of electoral votes!!

Bob Guthrie, are we tinfoiling Benghazi already?

Unfortunately their magic spells did not work.

That may be the sweetest part of it for me.

Kabbalist magic, witchery and idolatry mixed with bribes and promises of power by Goyim for a Mormon,...

How the heck do you think G-d was going to take this?.

"HmmmmNo. Soul Brotha stays put. Think twice when using my altar as Political Poker table next time, ya Putzes."

Hashem didn't want to answer that prayer. He's no fool.

Posted by: Korben Dallas
"Bob Guthrie, are we tinfoiling Benghazi already?."

Oh, come, Korbee. This it?. The Extremist Fundies are really coming down with some really nasty verbal vitriol on the other forum (....preplanned by the CIA with the killers, Assassins actually Democrat SEALS, Obama listened live to the massacre at the WH while muttering this would bring his standings up with the Islamists. The POTUS ordered the men to stay at Bengazi under threat of imprisonment at Gitmo...).

Oh, here is one from under the wire "Mosad parachuted in with permission of the CIA to kill the men to stay in favor with Mohamed Morsi."

Come on, Korbee, give me something meaty here. These Fundies are professional anti-Obama mouth-to-mouth verbiage stuntmen!. >=(

Oh, by the by, you seem to have confused me with somebody who gives a f*ck about politics, sparky. ^.^

Hmm, maybe they got the Lubavitcher Rebbe King Messiah by mistake.

"The Chair, er... Rebbe King Messiah sez Romney is a shoe-in. Sure, sure, just send us the check at 770..."

Doesn't seem to have worked...

DARN! They must have prayed for popular votes instead of electoral votes!!

Ok, looks like Obama won the popular vote too. So much for that theory!

Aaron, if we're going to make up facts, I much prefer those made up by Abu to those made up by Chabad...

As for the election, the power of prayer triumphs again! Just like the study that showed that hospital patients who know they are being prayed for tend to fare worse than the placebo (non-prayer) group.

Thank you Kabbalists!!

What went wrong in this "secret prayer session"? did mighter kabbalists in another place pray for Obama?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XF--G1zmyTw

Might be, they forgot to post this video, election version...

prayers...
sometimes they work sometimes they don't
i've prayed for things....and g-d has blessed me.
but my prayers???
i think of the six million praying for their survival. oh, they prayed.
they REALLY prayed.
so i'm on the fence.
too scared to think prayers don't work.
but look at the walls and see no family pictures hanging because
their prayers weren't answered.
i wish i knew as much as i don't know!
so now will all those kabbalists understand...this is g-d's will?
wow....wonder what they would answer

well i wished such prayer never works let the Rabbis know they are not above GOD

I prayed that prayers would stop working.
Looks like my prayer worked.

Oh, come, Korbee. This it?. The Extremist Fundies are really coming down with some really nasty verbal vitriol on the other forum

Bob Guthrie, I don't need to. We're just going to wrap it in tinfoil is all I'm saying. You know, FOX-News-it so leftists don't have to trouble themselves with answering troubling questions. Just call anyone who even mentions it a tinfoil hatter and be done with it.

Perhaps now these meshugeneh kabbalists will call him "Moshe" Romney z'tl.

Prayer?

Haha. 11 million dead in the camps, prayed to be saved. Another 40 million all over Europe and Russia, prayed for their lives to no avail.


Millions dead in Darfur, Rwanda, Eritrea, Iraq, Pakistan, Japan, East Asia, from war, famine and natural disaster, I bet they prayed and prayed too.

All pointless. They might as well have been reciting The Cat in the Hat.

Still, it's funny watching republicans in the US collectively shitting their pants, and throwing their dummies out of their prams

Looks like even their criminal voter suppression didn't work,

Aaron Green,Lube-a-bitches do believe Schneerson is the G-dly spark in a human body,not just the Mashiach!

@No_Light
Right on.
I keep telling my friends to question Hashem about the Holocaust.

When I ask them about it they just become quiet, lost for words.

Second biggest loser for the night: Sheldon Adelson. Over $50 million flushed down the toilet. He would have done better giving the money to struggling Jewish community centers around the country.

Apologies to: Lynyrd Skynyrd (What's Your Name?):

Well, its 12 o'clock and who won?
I don't know
I'll find my TV remote
Fox news has the show
I done made some prayers to help Mitt win the fight
I gave him a Hebrew name
And I know Obama will loose tonight.

(Chorus)
What's your name, Mr. Goy?
What's your name?
Will you win, Mr. Goy?
Your campaign is lame.

Back at the shtetl
L-rd we got such a mess
It seems that our holy Jew
Couldn't get our man elected, oy yes
Well, the Ortho vote didn't get very far,
What a shanda
Won't the Man upstairs
Listen to our prayers tomorrow

Chorus 2x

9 o'clock the next day
And the election's blown
I got 613 mitzvot
So I'm davening slow, oh no
Can I buy Obama's love--
Here's a grand
When I whisper in his ear
I want some power again

Chorus

It would have worked if they had flown in circles over Washington in an airplane, blown shofars and yelled into a telephone.

I love the concept of a virtual bris with virtual MBP.
So Romney may get virtual herpes? Or was losing the election the equivalent of herpes?

YL, thanks for the laugh!

I miss Lynyrd.

On the power of prayer, I highly recommend:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/study-tests-the-power-of-prayer-and-finds-it-could-make-matters-worse-472253.html

once again, a huge thank you for the prayers that backfired and helped re-elect Obama!

(may they now start to pray for Iran's good future...)

Nu, LaC, Mr. Expert on the Heartland, you owe Nate Silver (who was 100% spot on) and me an apology as you promised. Despite Kabbalists and all sorts of other meshugass, your guy got beat like a drum.

What happened in Maricopa? I saw news of Flake (good bye Grand Canyon), but what about Sheriff Joe and Sinema?

lol, YL

dh, Sheriff Joe won. I expect it will take the Grim Reaper to defeat him. Looks like not even the Department of Justice has been able to make a dent.

Last I looked, the official state web site had unofficial results for all races: with 100% of the vote counted Sinema had a 2000 vote lead. She had maintained a 1000 vote lead most of the evening/night, but doubled that as the last returns were counted. The Libertarian had about 10,000 votes. I would say that's a Sinema victory unless there is some question about the count. It's a very quirky, ornery district for sure.

The ballot proposition giving Arizona (unilaterally declared) sovereignty over federal lands (except for military installations) in Arizona failed, so I guess the Grand Canyon is safe for the time being. It is quite an impressive sight, and y'all are more than welcome to come out and have a look

Thanks, Eli, Dh.

Rabbi Shmuely Boteach lost in NJ.

Linda McMahon lost in CT, having now spend about $91 million in two unsuccessful elections. She's as phoney as her WWE wrestling matches.

With Jewish name poor Romney also get Jewish "success"

It seems as if G_d is ignoring these kabbalists. Barack Obama was elected to a second term yesterday.

Their downfall was that the Elders of Zion here based a name change on "Mitt," when the Almighty knows him as "Willard."

Tooooooo bad babyfuckers-your guy is toast.

he lost . he braha was not good . at least, it did not work.

those brahot are for the birds .

MM, OMG, I thought surely Joe would go. I wonder how long it will be before the Today Show has him on again.

Thanks, I've never seen the Grand Canyon.

Posted by: Office of the Chief Rabbi | November 07, 2012 at 02:27 PM

Wasn't Willard a movie from the 70s about a weirdo who raised kiler rats. Somehow that makes perfect sense in this case.

No gathering of kabbalists in a quorum is going to overtake U.S. demographics. Demographics, demographics. That's the name of the game. U.s. is permanently, unalterably changed in its voting patterns and it only promises to get worse when chairman Obama waves his wand and grants amnesty to 12 to 30 illegals. Israel should take a lesson from our election cycles and fast track thier infiltrators on the road to deportation. No permanent refugee or political status.

Posted by: zionist goy | November 07, 2012 at

Chairman Obama? His amnesty plan is almost identical to Dubya's proposal a few years back. Just like cap and trade and an insurance mandate were initially Conservative efforts. It's funny how you RW drones calls a Republican program Socialist when a Democrat comes on board.

It's funny how you RW drones calls a Republican program Socialist when a Democrat comes on board.

Same thing with "Obamacare". It's almost identical to the model Romney set up here in Massachusetts six years ago, but as soon as a Democrat suggested it, it became Socialism.

And of course, no one on the Right ever acknowledges this.

Oh Zionist Goy, is there no end to your stupidity?

You're being played and you don't even know it. Hey, why not convert? Oh you totally should. Then you wouldn't have to use a pejorative to refer to yourself.

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