Zionist Orthodox Rabbi Comes Out Against Sperm Donation To Older Single Women

Donating sperm to a single woman is immoral, even though the halakhic problems related to donating sperm are “resolvable,” because the child “will be miserable” only having a mother.

Rabbi Shlomo Aviner

Zionist Orthodox Rabbi Comes Out Against Sperm Donation To Older Single Women
Shmarya Rosenberg • FailedMessiah.com   

Rabbi Shlomo Aviner is the head of the Ateret Yerushalayim Yeshiva and a leading Zionist Orthodox posek, decisor of Jewish law.

In his weekly couples lesson, Aviner reportedly taught that he believes that donating sperm to a single woman is immoral, even though the halakhic problems related to donating sperm are “resolvable,” because the child “will be miserable” only having a mother.

Aviner did not cite any reputable psychological data to back up his opinion.

Aviner also claims – again without a shred of scientific evidence to back him up – that not having a father because your mother got pregnant through artificial insemination could even be worse than a young child having his father die, because at least the child still has a father figure to remember and look up to.

"What should an older woman who has yet to marry, and whose biological clock is ticking, do? Should she accept a sperm donation? There is an insolvable problem: It's immoral toward the child. A child needs a father and a mother. That's how God Almighty created his world. We know that there are widows and there is also divorce – but that is a real tragedy. One must not organize such a situation in advance. There are also single mothers who had a child out of wedlock, but that is a given situation as well. But a child needs a loving father and mother…We understand that the girl wants to get married and can't wait to give love to a cute little creature – but why create a single-parent family in advance? The child will be miserable. It's sometimes even worse than a dead father, because in that case at least the child has a father figure. The same applies for divorce – he (the father) is here, he is there. And in this case the child has nothing,” Aviner noted, adding that children born through sperm donation, "often wake up at night and cry, 'Father, Father.'"

So?

What is Aviner’s solution to the problem of an aging single woman who wants to be married, wants to have children, but who can’t find a husband?

It’s simple, Aviner says, but not cheap.

The woman should freeze her eggs.

"It does cost NIS 25,000 [about $6,500], and that's a lot of money, but a child is also worth a million shekels, and let's hope that she gets married,” Aviner said.

Comments

[Reese]

It's these very same rabbis who have destroyed countless engagements and relationships and prevented singles from getting married in the first place.

[DS]

Rabbi David Golinkin, the head of Machon Schechter, the Conservative Movement's rabbinical school in Israel, has also condemned sperm donation for older women, whereas R' Yuval Cherlow, who is Orthodox and part of the more liberal wing of the Dati Leumi world, says it is mutar.

[Miriam]

I would also assume that he would be against a single woman adopting a child. Is he alone in his opinion or are there any other rabbis that agree with him?

[Gevezener Chusid]

I have a nonjewish friend who was never married had her son thru sperm donation. I must say that he is one of the finest, most intelligent, and well-adjusted teenagers that I have ever met. Maybe because he's not Jewish.

Up yours Aviner.

[Rebitzman]

@DS

Rabbi David Golinkin's opinion is not necessarily that of the Conservative Movement. I say not necessarily because to date, the Conservative Movement has discussed and ruled on the issue of AI in all aspects EXCEPT in the case of a single woman (where we have conveniently punted for further study). Oddly enough, single women ARE allowed to adopt.

R. Golinkin's opinion is based on the idea that kids are generally better off being raised by two parents - and not on any moral issues.

This issue (AI) has been discussed - and never really settled since Talmudic times (Haggigah 14b as an example).

While Rabbi Aviner's language on the subject is a tad strong, he's not really that far out of the mainstream in hallachic (apologies to the Refirm contributors) threads of Judaism.

[Jeff]

Aviner noted, adding that children born through sperm donation, "often wake up at night and cry, 'Father, Father.'"

Now I understand why Haredim are so willing to believe chazal when they make crackpot statements - their rabbis are still doing it (yes, I understand he's Zionist Orthodox).

On the other hand, at least he doesn't ban phones: http://www.ravaviner.com/2012/10/rav-aviner-on-smartphones-kosher-phones_16.html

[dh]

What's an older woman? One who freezes her eggs, waits for marriage and then tries to carry a child to full term when she's 50?

When sperm is donated it is generally donated to a urologist or sperm bank. Most recipients are not old or single. Generally they are married couples unable to conceive. Many have conceived once and wish for their child to have a sibling with the same donor.

[Yochanan Lavie]

Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

[soso]

I think it is a good idea, on the rabbi's side, to ban artificial insemination for unmarried women. Many orthodox women think it is more "kosher" to have an artificial insemination than having sex. That's stupid. If they want children, they should have sex.

Now, if sex does not work, that's another story...

[Sarek]

Does this mean that artificial insemination has to be done via the hole in the sheet?

[Realist Jew]

@soso

right on

[Bob Guthrie]

"Aviner noted, adding that children born through sperm donation, "often wake up at night and cry, 'Father, Father.'"

*Oh, my sides*

I haven't laughed that hard in ages. Glad everybody still at lunch. ^.^

[Bob Guthrie]

Posted by: soso
"I think it is a good idea, on the rabbi's side, to ban artificial insemination for unmarried women. Many orthodox women think it is more "kosher" to have an artificial insemination than having sex. That's stupid. If they want children, they should have sex."

I say, congratulations on this most Manly Man Misogynistic statement, dear old chap.

No go see if you micro-p*nis has grown five millimeters longer after such testosterone drenched post. =P

[Bob Guthrie]

Posted by: Realist Jew
"@soso
right on."

Oh, G-d. Now they are going to head butt each other, crush cans of Kosher beer on their foreheads, and pound their hairless chests. >.=P

[Jeff]

I haven't laughed that hard in ages. Glad everybody still at lunch. ^.^

Posted by: Bob Guthrie | October 23, 2012 at 02:37 PM

Bob, they have a whole genre of such superstitions. For example, they tell teenage boys that if they masturbate, they create children in the "other world" who then come and haunt them, or some such thing.

Rampant insanity.

[Milhouse]

"For example, they tell teenage boys that if they masturbate, they create children in the "other world" who then come and haunt them, or some such thing."

Lol. Rampant insanity indeed!

[Milhouse]

Any guy that gives away his sperm is a moron to me. I heard stories about donors that have 10 or more children, and the kids grow up looking for him.

You can compare sperm donors to those fathers that get women pregnant and don't take care of their responsibility.

[ruthie]

omg

i was upset but now i think i'm feeling some laughter coming on...
this guy takes the cake. takes.the.cake.

[ruthie]

"For example, they tell teenage boys that if they masturbate, they create children in the "other world" who then come and haunt them, or some such thing."

Lol. Rampant insanity indeed!

Posted by: Milhouse | October 23, 2012 at 03:11 PM

Lol...i bet you're right. they tell the boys this.
but i don't think it's stopping too many of them.

[maven]

He also said this today: http://www.kipa.co.il/jew/49754.html

[seymour]

Aviner noted, adding that children born through sperm donation, "often wake up at night and cry, 'Father, Father.'"

Now I understand why Haredim are so willing to believe chazal when they make crackpot statements - their rabbis are still doing it (yes, I understand he's Zionist Orthodox).

On the other hand, at least he doesn't ban phones: http://www.ravaviner.com/2012/10/rav-aviner-on-smartphones-kosher-phones_16.html

Posted by: Jeff | October 23, 2012 at 11:43 AM

I assume he knows this by being in the boys room at night.

interesting

[Kalteryid]

http://vimeo.com/49837592

I wonder what his daughter would say about this?

[Abracadabra]

The child will be miserable.

Since when is this a reason not to bring a child into the world? How many Chareidim are having 15 "miserable" children? Numbers 1-5 may not be miserable but numbers 6-15 surely will be when they realize that they will be neglected, raised by older siblings, and be merely a number in the litter. And if numbers 1-5 are girls then they will surely be miserable because they will be the ones acting as mother and raising the brood, while the mother is out working to support the very important father who is learning in Kollel. And the children in these homes are NOT miserable?! Give me a break.

We understand that the girl wants to get married and can't wait to give love to a cute little creature...

This is the most disgusting of all his stupid comments. I wonder if he has any "cute little creatures" at home, some reptiles maybe, who need better attention from their father.

There is no "halacha" about any of this because this was simply not a very reliable or probable way to get pregnant when halacha was formulated in the times of Gemara. Now that AI is a dependable way to bring a child into the world, the rabbis can either get with the program and make it halachically permissible for single women, or make this another thing to disallow for whatever backwards reasons they can find.

When there is a rabbinic will there is a halachic way.

But oh how important these rabbis must feel when they can push their weight around and say "it's forbidden." While they're on their ego trips, kids are dropping out left and right. Smart kids.

[ruthie]

people must show their utmost compassion to any man or woman who really wants a child.
it's a very sensitive issue. very painful.
it is our job not to forbid but to thank g-d for the technology.

on the other hand,
if someone does not want to get married, is gay, or does not want children....it is our job to respect them. we are not g-d. but yet we judge all day. maybe this is human nature.

[Jeff]

And the children in these homes are NOT miserable?! Give me a break.

Of course not. They're happy and fulfilled because they're doing Hashem's will.

[Rebitzman]

He's right. Spare the rod...............