Rabbis Reportedly Urge Single Women To Freeze Eggs To Help Ensure Fertility

Rebecca, an Orthodox Jew from California, was two weeks away from her marriage to the son of a respected rabbi when medication she was taking for migraines triggered a debilitating stroke. She fell to the floor of the emergency room where she was working as a manager and broke her neck, suffering both spinal cord and brain injuries. When her fiance saw the extent of her disability, he called off the wedding.…Now 38 and walking again, Rebecca is single, but her Orthodox faith implores her to find a husband and build a family. So she sought spiritual guidance from three or four rabbis and has decided -- with their blessing -- to have her eggs frozen for the future, when she hopes she will marry and start a family.

 

ABC News reports:

Rebecca, an Orthodox Jew from California, was two weeks away from her marriage to the son of a respected rabbi when medication she was taking for migraines triggered a debilitating stroke.

She fell to the floor of the emergency room where she was working as a manager and broke her neck, suffering both spinal cord and brain injuries. When her fiance saw the extent of her disability, he called off the wedding.

"We did everything the Orthodox way," she said of their three-month engagement after being matched by family members. "I was in the hospital on my wedding day and they got out the wheelchair, and he was so frightened he backed off."

Now 38 and walking again, Rebecca is single, but her Orthodox faith implores her to find a husband and build a family. So she sought spiritual guidance from three or four rabbis and has decided -- with their blessing -- to have her eggs frozen for the future, when she hopes she will marry and start a family.

Doctors in the United States who are familiar with "halacha" -- or Jewish religious law -- say they are seeing more Orthodox patients who have been sent by their rabbis to freeze their eggs before their fertility wanes.…

 "Most rabbis are strongly recommending this, and most should," said Dr. Sherman Silber, director of the Infertility Center of St. Louis, whose practice caters to Orthodox Jews. "'Be fruitful and multiply' is considered the first commandment."

The procedure helps make these single women more marriageable in the eyes of their communities, according to Silber.

"In truth, however, most orthodox women marry much earlier than this, often at age 20," he said. "So it is an uncommon event, but an important one for them.”…

 He recommends egg freezing "for all women who do not anticipate having a baby soon," he said. "Aging of the eggs is the critical and most important reason for the current infertility epidemic worldwide. And I would suggest well before age 38 to do that."

"We do everything we can to follow Orthodox halacha in all of our IVF practice," said Silber. "The patient can get her shots on Friday night before shabbos, and she can get her shots on Saturday night after shabbos. This is never a scheduling or dosage problem."

Rabbis also give special approval in rare cases when egg pick-up must be over the Sabbath, according to Silber, "as life trumps all other mitzvahs," including getting approval for a non-Jewish doctor.

In Israel the procedure is covered by the government. Some rabbis recommend every single woman over age 32 freeze her eggs as an insurance policy against infertility.…

Comments

[dh]

Isn't there something ultra orthodox believe that says without certain emotions at conception, the child will be damaged?

[Jeff]

Rebecca, an Orthodox Jew from California, was two weeks away from her marriage to the son of a respected rabbi when medication she was taking for migraines triggered a debilitating stroke. She fell to the floor of the emergency room where she was working as a manager and broke her neck, suffering both spinal cord and brain injuries. When her fiance saw the extent of her disability, he called off the wedding...

A fine, upstanding young man. A credit to his family (who presumably made no attempt to tell him to "man up" and do the honorable thing).

The next time a frummie tries to tell me how much better their system is because they don't allow these decisions to be influenced by something as fleeting as "love", I'd like to bring out this woman to kick him in the beytzim

[Simpsons fan]

Not every man can take care of a disabled woman. She's better off without him.

[Jeff]

I suppose.

[jancsibacsi]

Jeff--Its baytzim the hassidishe way they are extra big:)

[Doggies.]

Some fiancé. Sounds like a materialistic loser. It's funny, the frumm are not so accepting of people who are different.

[Milhouse]

Rabbis are God in disguise because anything that comes out of there mouths goes. And, the gullible people eat it up.

Fuck going to college. I need to be a Rabbi because it sounds so enticing to have that power over people.

My first order of business as a Rabbi would be, "ugly women stay inside the house."

[Rebitzman]

Some fiancé. Sounds like a materialistic loser. It's funny, the frumm are not so accepting of people who are different.

Not a "frum" issue. Have seen this same thing happen across all faiths by both genders. People don't like damaged goods. Had a young man in our congregation (Conservative) dumped just shy of the wedding after being diagnosed with MS.

For the record, I have also witnessed many instances where the wedding happened in SPITE of the issues. It's about individual character - not faith path.

FWIW, had the health condition not happened before the wedding, I see no way the marriage would have lasted anyway. If one partner is shallow and self centered.........so I agree with you. Some fiancé.

[ruthie]

all nice and good. freezing the eggs.
but you know there is tremendous pressure on men and women...you must marry, you must have children...
marriage can be nice, children can be the sweetest...but sometimes it's ok for some people to listen to their gut....and know they can be happy without getting married...not having kids.
i know and there are people in their 50s desperate for marriage and children. then again, there are people in their 50s desperate to get out of their marriage. what i'm trying to say...is there is an enormous amount of pressure by the hasidic population and add that to society in general and omg

[Turd Degree]

I'd like to bring out this woman to kick him in the beytzim

That ought to do wonders for his fertility.

[Elisheva]

But remember, they honor women more than non-haredi Jews do. They respect women. They want to protect women. Women are holier than men. Which I guess is why they have to kick an ill woman to the curb.

[Jeff]

Had a young man in our congregation (Conservative) dumped just shy of the wedding after being diagnosed with MS.

Horrendous. Still, you guys are right - some fiance.

[Steven W]

Do the women have to go to the mikvah before retrieval? But single women can't use the mikvah?

[hjhjk]

For once, this comment is fitting.

[zibble]

Most people have NO CLUE as to the details of the situation or the personalities involved. Put yourself in this man's place and try to answer honestly: you are 20, engaged to be married, and the woman gets in a car accident and becomes a parapalegic. You are now faced with the question of being a caretaker of someone for possibly the next 50 years. You may also be faced with being childless. Or, you can adopt or do in vitro, but you will still be the only full time parent. You are not rich and are unable to hire a full-time caretaker.

Going through with the marriage is admirable. But only a self-righteous prig would judge someone for NOT going through with such a marriage.

[ItsNotEasyBeingGreen]

Thank you Zibble. Only a complete ass would not recognize what a tremendous task it is to take care of someone with a catastrophic illness or injury. I see it in my practice all the time. Even under the best of circumstances where a whole family is involved it is overwhelming, let alone for someone who is barely an adult. Just think about this for a minute. They get married and..... what? He changes her diapers on their wedding night? He suctions her tracheostomy? He wakes up every 2 hours to turn her so she doesn't get bedsores? Seriously? And has to do this night after night after night until she dies? Or in rare cases (like the above) she gets better years afterward? I'm not saying he's a gem, but no one can understand this unless they have been in this situation. Unfortunately I have been witness to this many, many times over. The gf/bf or whatever usually leaves.

[put a squae in to a hole]

To Steve W.

The eggs get frozen until the girl/mistress/wife get a note from the mikvah lady that she went for a dip.

The chasidish man can also get his eggs frozen so he can have sex out of marriage without having to worry about shomer neggia

[Jeff]

Going through with the marriage is admirable. But only a self-righteous prig would judge someone for NOT going through with such a marriage.

Unfortunately I have been witness to this many, many times over. The gf/bf or whatever usually leaves.

Perhaps, but I'd give even money that when s/he does stay, in the majority of such cases the couple is not Haredi - because they've known one another for longer than five minutes, haven't been wasting their time researching one another's yichus and have had time to develop feelings for one another.

So if you have any integrity, you'll admit that all of the apologetics about your system being better are bullshit.