Boteach Sex Book Number One Crown Heights Summer Read

Rabbi Shmuley Boteach’s book “Kosher Sex: A Recipe for Passion and Intimacy" was the most checked-out nonfiction title in the Crown Heights branch of the Brooklyn Public Library this summer. But what books made up the rest of the top te?

Rabbi Shmuley Boteach

DNAinfo reports that Rabbi Shmuley Boteach’s book “Kosher Sex: A Recipe for Passion and Intimacy" was the most checked-out nonfiction title in the Crown Heights branch of the Brooklyn Public Library this summer.

Hasidim were busy readers this summer, and FailedMessiah.com has decided to leap into the (sensible) gap in DNAinfo’s reporting to post the entire combined Top 10 list of checked-out fiction and nonfiction books at the Crown Heights branch, as combined Crown Height’s favorite retired men’s mikva attendant, Reb Mendel Loofish, who phoned in his report on his iPhone3:

1. Kosher Sex: A Recipe for Passion and Intimacy by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach. 2. Likkutei Sichot of Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, Transliterated Edition with Ouija Board cover. 3. Tanya, ESL Edition. 4. How To Con Anyone Out Of Almost Anything Anytime You Want To, by Bernard Madoff. 5. Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Yiddishkeit But Don't Because You Were Drunk Out Of Your Mind At So Many Farbrengens In Crown Heights And Hung Over After Them by by the Lakewood chapter of Alcoholics Anonymous. 6. Mortgage Flipping and Phone Card Scams in 9 Easy Steps by Rabbi Mendel Ploni. 7. 100 Reasons The Rebbe Isn't Really Dead And 100 More Proving He Is The Messiah, compiled by those dayanim on the Crown Heights Bais Din who are, thank G-d, not being incredibly chutzpadik by fighting the Rebbe's malchus. 8. How To Convert Pretty Rich Women To Judaism For Fun and Profit by Rabbis A. Shemtov, M. Kotlarsky, B.S. Cunin, and R. Perlman. 9. The Complete Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew Mysteries Boxed Sets, specially censored to remove all mention of non-kosher animals, holding hands, mixed dancing and bacon. 10. How To Steal Your Local Shul’s Building For The Glory Of The Rebbe And His Chassidus, by Rabbis Y. Krinsky, A. Shemtov and M. Kotlarsky, official Kehos edition.

[Hat Tip for the Boteach book news: HeathenHassid.]

Comments

[Jeff]

Okay, that's funny!

And allow me preempt the usual cast of characters - you're a self-hating Jew who blogs in his parents' basement and hates the Rebbe because he wouldn't admit schvartzers.

[Yerachmiel Lopin]

Hilarious. Can you trust Loofish is his head is turned around by reading these books and addled from too many years in the sauna?

I believe that #11 is Yehudith Martin's "Rebetzin Manner's Guide To Deciding When To Say Shlita and When to Say Zatzal."

[Pinocchio]

This lubab cult will fade like shabati tzvi did, and the real frum ones will go over to other kehilos.

[Maskil]

Great reporting. Thanks for the entertaining (and frighteningly realistic) complete list. G'mar hatima tova.

[Yerachmiel Lopin]

Shmarya, your eager readers want the fiction list.

[Ricki]

#12 - "How to Find a Job While Sporting a Puffy Beard"

[Jeff]

"How to Lose Weight by Chicken-Swinging"

[mendel]

To pinocchino

I guess your nose is really big now.

I belive that if the Villna Goan were alive today (or atleast B4 gimel Tamuz) he would not have been against chasidim chasidus and chabad.
If he would see what came out of the baal shem tov and of trhe baal hatanya he wouldn't object.
The vilna Goan thought that the Baal Shem is just another shabtzi tzvi.

WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE
chasidus is here to stay

[Lubavitchers are Christians]

This is great. Now we just have to get this list out to the media so that they can see what really goes on in Lubavitch. We all knew how bad Lubavitch was, but this list is the smoking gun that these scum are scamming the rest of us.

[Reb Chaim]

Hey, Mendel how about a little historical accuracy in your analysis of how the Vilna Gaon would have reacted to chasidus. In fact, Reb Schnenur Zalman of Liadi actually tried to visit the Gaon in order to discuss a truce between the two groups - what we know today as mitnagdim and his own followers. But the Gaon gave strict orders to his secretary not to allow Reb Schneur Zalman in by telling that he was either out of town or otherwise unavailable. The Gaon clearly worried that the new movement would lead to personality cults where each group would come to worship their own rebbe rather than the true G-d. But was he ever prescient!

[Jeff]

WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE

And again - no sense of irony.

Also, I LOVE how the Hasidim are always trying to retrofit the Vilan Gaon, Joseph Caro and the Rambam so that if they were alive today, they'd be wearing black hats and swinging chickens.

[mendel]

to reb chaim and jeff.

If you would know the reason why the Vilna Gaon was against chasdus you would that he "THOUGHT" that it was like shabtzi tzvi

[BigBucks]

Boteach Sex Book Number One Crown Heights Summer Read

Way to go Shmuley! I wish you much success in selling your book and making lots of money!

[Pinocchio]

Below taken from official lubabvich literature:
נקוט כלל זה בידך הדוגמא היחידה בשבילינו הוא הרבי, ואם תמדוד כל דבר לעומת הרבי וכל תהלוכותיו בקדש, לא תהיה לך שום בעיה, והיה מדגיש את טהרת נקיות לשונו של הרב, ממנו תלמדו
ואל תסתכלו לצדדין

So now that the rebbe is as good as dead or just plain dead! If the rebbe was their main source to focus on, nothing else matters! So what is left? Other than make him the focus, of the hocus pocus, just like the christians do with their yozel! What a way to go! Or obsess yourself with alcohol-drugs-sex-and rock & roll Chasidic style music!

[Eli, what me messiah?]

Hilarious!

[Pinocchio]

mendel said: "WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE
chasidus is here to stay"

Lubab style chasidus has in common with the behash"t as much, as todays litvaks have in common with the ha'gruh z"l Lubab of today is more like Matisyahu & Boteach, with a dash of christianity Inc. Go blow your nose on that.

[Brian]

Wow- such and old book. "50 Shades of Grey" won't hit the top 10 for another 15 years or so.

[Yochanan Lavie]

The Joy of Sects

[just ruth]

@Brian "Wow- such and old book. "50 Shades of Grey" won't hit the top 10 for another 15 years or so."

But the waiting list for "50 Shades Of Goy", you shoulda seen it.

[dh]

are there photos?

[A. Nuran]

I read this when it first came out. It had good and bad points.

To his credit Rabbi Boteach seems genuinely concerned about healthy sexuality. He writes humanely and passionately about the need for real emotional and physical intimacy. He speaks up strongly for pleasure, friendship and passion between husband and wife. And he steps out on a limb by saying that the ignorance and shame within much of the Orthodox world is bad for Jews and Jewish marriages.

Unfortunately his prescriptions are one medicine fits all. Many of his statements about how men and women are are simply wrong or at least woefully incomplete. His spirited defense of the harshest niddah customs is falser than a doxy's smile. And the attempts to generalize millennia of Jewish Law as a model for everyone falls flat.

I applaud the effort and the sentiment. The execution leaves much to be desired. That said, it's certainly better than most of what passes for sexuality education in the extremely Orthodox world. It's probably good that the heimishe are reading and thinking about this book

[WoolSilkCotton, rock star and sports superstar]

++BigBucks | September 21, 2012 at 10:30 AM++

The frumma don't buy the book. They find someone who has a copy, and they borrow it.

[Frugal]

++BigBucks | September 21, 2012 at 10:30 AM++

The frumma don't buy the book. They find someone who has a copy, and they borrow it.
Posted by: WoolSilkCotton, rock star and sports superstar | September 21, 2012 at 04:52 PM

Very smart, why pay when you can read it for free.

[Bassy the Haredi Slayer]

Better they are reading Boteach than their Kovetz minhagim, the Fischel Jacob's book or Jewish Dominatrix For Arab King erotica

[ding]

WSC is right . the frumma don't buy the book . they could afford it , but they are cheap.
that's why they go to the library to borrow it .

[Fleishike Kishke]

why pay when you can read it for free? The neo-con Frumma use the socialist public library and actually believe an author should receive no royalties when it comes to them spending $15 on a book.

As for Jacob's book, I read an article that included I believe included an excerpt. Woman calls: Can I make fucking with my husband? Rabbi: Did you wipe your vagina with a white cotton handkerchief? Yes. [Rabbi's voice drops, his breathing gets heavier.] Did you wipe it deep? Yes. [Rabbi creams his shorts] Okay, you can have sexy time.

Do all the frumma woman call their rabbi every month?

[Yosef ben Matitya]

:-) love yr list!

[zionist goy]

Love Boteach, this is a rabbi for the ages, an everyman's rabbi, a rabbi EVEN for the goyim. I enjoyed his "Shalom in the Home" series.

[Author]

WSC is right . the frumma don't buy the book . they could afford it , but they are cheap.
that's why they go to the library to borrow it .

Posted by: ding | September 21, 2012 at 07:04 PM

You are right. Shut down all libraries. Enough of giving things away for free. Go to Amazon, check out the excerpts and if you like what you see buy it! Cheap bastards.

[simple jew]

B"H

The vilna gaon would be proud to know some of his descendents are chabad shluchim

[Shmarya]

Never in a million years, Simpleton.

He was very clear about what he did not approve of, and Chabad was one of those things.

[put a square into a hole]

to shmarya as was written already by mendel.

IF the vilna gaon WOULD HAVE KNOWN THAN what chasidus and chabad would turn into he "SURLY" wouldn't have been so against it.

Yes it is true you have shmucks in all walks of life.

[Jeff]

IF the vilna gaon WOULD HAVE KNOWN THAN what chasidus and chabad would turn into he "SURLY" wouldn't have been so against it.

You think the Vilna Gaon would approve of what Hasidus has become? Can you really be that ignorant?

[Friar Yid]

Coming soon: Kosher Sex Jesus.

[Brian]

"But the waiting list for "50 Shades Of Goy", you shoulda seen it."

"50 Sheitels of Grey" sold out pretty quickly, too.