« Postville Settles Discrimination Lawsuit Filed By Chabadnik | Main | Caught On Video: Haredi Child Abuse At The Kotel »

September 01, 2011

Kosher Sex Toys

No-image-available You thought you've seen everything? Well, take a peek at this.

 

There's a new site up called KoshersexToys.net.

The owner sent me an email today, and we got into a brief q and a:

KosherSexToys

I Just started a web business called www.koshersextoys.net. What it is, is a website
that sells sex toys but contains no indecent pictures or text and we
ship the items without any untzniusdick pictures on the
packaging.

The idea is that frum couples who would otherwise feel uncomfortable
going to online sex shops with all the pics and content they have on
them will now have someplace they can buy sex toys to enchance their
sex lives without compromising on their frumkeit in any way.

FM

Please tell me something about yourself and your background.

KosherSexToys

I am a young lakewood guy went to school here for all my life
straight through mesivta and beis medrash. I have been married for
a few years.…

FM

When and where did you get the idea for this?

KosherSexToys

I got the idea when me and my wife decided to try some of this stuff
and the only places we could buy it were places that have all kinds of
pictures neither of us wanted to see. Then we got the toys and it came
in packages covered in things we had no interest seeing or bringing
into our home. This got me thinking. There must be a whole lot of
couples out there in the religious and even the non religious world
who could be benefiting from these things, and halachicly and morally
there is no issue with them doing so. In fact it probably is a mitzvah
for them to do so. But they won't simply because the only places they
can find these products are places were they would have to see
inappropriate pictures etc. they may not want to see. So I made a
solution that I really think can help people's Shalom Bayis!! I also
would love if people want any product that I don't have on the site,
if they could simply e-mail me the name of the item they want through
the website and I could get it for them. I will also constantly be
improving the site with more items and other use full tidbits.

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

Great idea!!

This is great idea. It is impressive that a young Lakewood boy finds a novel way to make an honest living. The only problem is that some jealous Rabbi will defintely ban it.

I have a better idea. I think the yeshiva guys should only get married for 10 years, and then have the option of renewing the marriage. You're allowed to do this according to Halacha. I say this because I hear of so many bad marriages, and then when they get divorced they mess around with divorcees.

look at the web site this is the best way for him to make money

You can take us at our word that we are providing you with a quality product at a competitive price, or, should you want to, you can email us for the actual product name. We do not encourage you to look at other websites selling these products.)

how does he and his wife know what to buy with looking at those other web sites?

will he be getting a hashgucha on some of the products?b

One of their better selling items is a kosher vibrator called Mazal-dik.

My ultra-chareidi neighbor told me that in the girls school his daughter attends, they started special classes in the use of these toys, alongside their challah-baking classes.


"It's the first she's excited about homework,"
he gushed.

Someone asked his rabbi if these devices are permitted on shabbos, and the answer was, "only if they're used shelo k'darko.

They know about handcuffs in the charedi community, so I guess they figure why not capitalize on their strengths.

I love this.

Finally, a good idea that has come out of a brain addled by just too much gemora.

May I recommend the most common such kli koydesh which we used in yeshivo:
a bisumim box with aphrodisiac and poppers to end shabbos.

Also, I recall the Brisker in one of his lesser known shaylos un tshuvos, wrote as follows:

Raboysay, one cold day, it was gevaltig cold, I received a shaylo from a bokhur asking if he could use the lulav for rectal stimulation. After consulting the poskim I concluded that the abrasion of the leaves might interfere with his shukkeling so I gave an osur.

But on second thought I must commend him on his khidush. This is Torah genius at its absolute peak.

My first thought, like many of those who will read this for the first time, was, "Oh, for crying out loud..."

Let's just say this is why Rabbi Shmueley Boteach wrote his books (none of which I have read but all of which I am told in the name of very respected Orthodox rabbis that they are exactly what they claim to be--in conformance with halachah, at least in letter if not spirit).

I would just advise the young man to be even more discreet. Kosher may be kosher (and better kosher than not, as he points out), and the market may be there, but there's got to be a better way to spread the word than a website. Maybe the rabbis who privately teach soon-to-be-married young men in the yeshivos should be discreetly told that such-and-such is available from so-and-so.

For all I know, that may exactly be what's going on already--which, if it is, bingo! Can you smell the wood burning? That's exactly the idea of tznius in the first place.

You might call it the Great Underground.

Wish him luck and LOTS of business. Bring the toys in the bedroom and kick the fucking Rebbes OUT.

Some of the items are now produced under the personal supervision of Rabbi Leib Tropper.

Amen Yissy.

I am amazed the Rebbes haven't fucked this new idea up (pun), after all that is what the "Gedolim" of our age do best.

Just curious, would anything that's battery-operated be considered muktzeh on Shabbat?

actually normal sites that sell sex toys send you the items in discreet packaging too. So not that novel. What exactly makes the toys kosher? Have they got a hechsher on them?

LOL @ the LEIB TROPPER line!!

I'm told that noted Rabbi Malkiel Kuntler fired off an angry letter of protest to the manufacturer that included the following sentence: "Never in the anals of jewish history did anyone have the chutzpah to do something like this."

R

You ask what makes the toys kosher.

This is a good question and I shall attempt to answer it.

It is brought down in the Sefer Hadildo hakoydesh, as follows:

Kdamrinan, R. Huna and R. Akiva were strolling through a market one erev yuntif. R. Huna asked, Does the name Mondrowitz mean anything to you? R. Akiva responded, Oh, he's the one who has the kosher lubricant factory in Bnei Brak? Sure, he's my brother in law.

From this we learn that lubricant made out of the grease of shmaltz is kosher as long as the chicken doesn't come from Postville.

I dont like it. This is the next stop to visiting porn sites and to alot of bad stuff.

This is great. But the guy is a doosh! Because people will find out who he is and his whole life will end!!

I dont like it. This is the next stop to visiting porn sites and to alot of bad stuff.

Posted by: hershman | September 01, 2011 at 08:27 PM

what bad stuff are you referring to?

I think it is a great idea,however....... I think he's marketing it to the wrong sect,I mean there aren't to many black Hebrews here (why else would he market a 8 inch vibrator on a Jewish site!!!!)

A baal teshuva woman in Teaneck asked her rabbi whether these implements need to be immersed in a mikvah before they're used for the first time, to which he replied, "not if you're using a waterbed."


I think it is a great idea,however....... I think he's marketing it to the wrong sect,I mean there aren't to many black Hebrews here (why else would he market a 8 inch vibrator on a Jewish site!!!!)

Posted by: Drillick!!!!!!! | September 01, 2011 at 08:38 PM

I agree with you 100%! but on this site the answer will be "when her rebbi molested her, it looked and felt 8inches long!"

hershman- i think the intent of this site is to do the exact opposite!! instead of turning to porn, or bad sites, and getting ur goodies in the wrong places, this person is providing a clean environment to get what u need. so, like i said, u DON'T hafta go to all the other sites.

I don't understand they have porn DVD's with fruma?

What about ANAL beads ?

Who on earth would give their credit card details and address on this site. What if word got around that you were buying sex toys? I can't imagine anyone in their right mind would use this site.

BMG guys can have it delivered to their mail cubbies, or to Rishels house.

They should sell Satmar approved bullet proof stockings along with the cuffs. Great turn on.

Is this for real? In the About Us section, they call themselves .com instead of .net.

Kosherswingers.com

Please.

We on this site are bombarded with pop ups for the sake of your income Shmarya yet you give this guy free publicity . Or is he giving you freebees nstead?

The economist sucks. I wouldn't use it for toilet paper


I think it is a great idea,however....... I think he's marketing it to the wrong sect,I mean there aren't to many black Hebrews here (why else would he market a 8 inch vibrator on a Jewish site!!!!)

Posted by: Drillick!!!!!!! | September 01, 2011 at 08:38 PM

Cause if you've born 10 kids already, there's a LOT of room in there.

There. I fixed it.

On a serious note, good for him. I hope he's successful.

Chassidim don't need to buy toys, that's how they view their women in the first place. Chassidishe men will first have to learn that the three stroke blow and go that takes all of 25 seconds isn't really sex. Chassidishe women don't come, they just wait for what ain't coming. Sad part is these guys would never let their wives blow them but every skank hooker working within a one mile radius of B and H knows that payday at B and H is their pay day too.

Hatzlacha on this business, however I notices that the dildos offered does not have a base which makes them unsafe for anal play.

I'm guessing they won't be selling this

What a phlucking mess. This is straight out of a chapter from Sefer Ha Loophole.

Cursed feminism has crept into the yeshiva world, and the woman do not respect their husbands. I don't think toys will help. see Racytorah

B and H = Blow and Hole

Does this have Mordy T. Hasgocha from New H.

Awesome, I was looking for a place to pick up my favorite porno ever made:

Shabbos-Dick and His Double Mitzvah Bitch

Enough already with all this kosher sex toys shtoos.

I'm off to watch another rerun of my Son The Schnorrer on the Satmar Channel.

Todays episode:
Channie Hindy is rushed to the ER with a crotch infection after her husband Yerachmiel Binyomen, implementing the suggestion of the Spinka Rebbe, convinces her that applying 4 week old ripened chulent to her genitals would ensure the birth of a baby boy.

Again, enough already with all this kosher sex toys shtoos.

I'm off to watch another rerun of My Son the Schnorrer on the Satmar Channel.

Today's second episode:
Channie Hindie makes Yerachmiel Binyomin sleep on the couch, after he persuades his wife to experiment using her old shaytel as a french tickler causing a painful lice infestation in her pubic area.

Abe, I thought you were going to write that Channie wore her old shaytel pretending to be a stranger that Yerachmiel picked up on the challah line at the bakery. You know what the scent of fresh baked bread can do to a person.

The website lists practical information for each item - dimensions, color, material, etc. - and everything else is so vague and non-specific, how will customers know what to do with these items? I think in the end they will be forced to do some research on the non-kosher websites.

I hope the website owner has invested in a high level of security. If someone hacks the site and makes public the information (s)he finds, that would be a huge embarrassment.

BTW, I see from reading the comments above, many FM readers are well versed in sex toys. :)

Yochanan Lavie, a song ... ?

Oi Gevalt, Next we will have kosher Bacon and Ham, or Kosher Prawns, what fun, must be a F rummer Maidel, who got tired of her 30 second Hymie come quickly husband

Is the vibrator circumcized?

What's next?

Star of David Butt Plugs.

Yad Dildos?

A kosher GloryHole in the Boro Park Pizza Shop mensroom?


As they would say in Lakewood, this is geval-dik!!

I wonder if they can use Fleshlights or shaped vibrators as they have genitals pictured on them

Under the strict supervision Hashgacha temidis of Rabbi leib Trooper Shlita

I can't IMAGINE they carry these (link possibly not safe for work):
http://www.divine-interventions.com/moses.html
from the people who brought you the Jesus Jackhammer!

Warning: looking at Kosher Sex Toys can lead to mixed dancing.

Has anyone tried buying from the site?
I did and my stuff never arrived....... hmmm certainly a typical Lakewood method for making money.
It's only been a week though so I shouldn't be jumping to conclusions, I'll come back and update if it comes in.

Would one use a un-kosher Sex Toy ? Depends on the Sexual Need i Guess ?

Well..... what do you know? It arrived in the mail!
Now let's get to work......

Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Working...
Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been posted. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.

Working...

Post a comment

----------------------

FailedMessiah.com is a reader supported website.

Thank you for your generous support!

----------------------

----------------------

----------------------

Please Scroll Down Toward The Bottom Of This Page For More Search Options, For A List Of Recent Posts, And For Comments Rules

----------------------

----------------------

Recent Posts

----------------------

Tip Jar

Gelt Is Good!

Tip Jar

FailedMessiah.com is a reader supported website. Please click the Donate button now to contribute.

Thank you for your generous support!

Tip Jar

Gelt Is Good!

Tip Jar

-------------------------

Comment Rules

  • 1. No anonymous comments.

    2. Use only one name or alias and stick with that.

    3. Do not use anyone else's name or alias.

    4. Do not sockpuppet.

    5. Try to argue using facts and logic.

    6. Do not lie.

    7. No name-calling, please.

    8. Do not post entire articles or long article excerpts.

    ***Violation of these rules may lead to the violator's comments being edited or his future comments being banned.***

Older Posts Complete Archives

Search FailedMessiah

Lijit Search

----------------------

FailedMessiah.com is a reader supported website.

Thank you for your generous support!

----------------------

----------------------

----------------------

FailedMessiah.com in the Media

RSS Feed

Blog Widget by LinkWithin