Orthodox Man Lives Life As A Transgendered Orthodox Woman

"I go to an Orthodox synagogue. They receive me very pleasantly there. It is an open community, and everyone who comes to the synagogue knows me, my past, and my present. No one makes a big deal about it. There is a women's section and a men's section at the synagogue. I sit in the women's section and am not ashamed of it.

Gender identity sought between pages of Gemara
Questions raised about G.'s gender identity shared only with God. 'Only He was there,' says G. Today, as Orthodox woman, G. says proudly, 'It's possible to be transgender and religious'
Danny Adino Ababa • Ynet

G. was born to a religious family. For years, just like everyone else, he went to synagogue, to Bnei Akiva, studying in a religious school. However, deep inside him, the feeling that he is really a woman, and not a man, nagged at him.

Just five years ago, G. decided to break out of the accepted framework and become transgender. Yet, in doing so, G. did not break all the frameworks. Today, G. is a religious Orthodox woman who keeps mitzvoth and goes to synagogue – but sits in the women's section.
 
G.'s story started many years ago as a young boy in a religious school in the center of the country. At the age of 11, among the pages of Gemara, piercing questions started to emerge in his heart regarding his gender identity. Though he continued to say daily the prayer "Praised is God for not making me a woman," he had already decided in his heart that he is not a man, but a woman.

However, living at the center of the religious establishment, putting such a decision into force remained far from practicable.
 
"Even after discovering my identity as a woman at the age of 11, I didn't have anyone to talk to about it at school. It was prohibited to talk about such topics at all. I continued on the path laid for me by the society I am from. I didn't ask questions, and I did not speak out about my inner feelings," recounted G.

As such, after finishing high school, G. enlisted in the IDF. At the end of his service, he removed his kippah, and embarked on a journey to find his inner self and to delve into the questions of his gender identity.

"I came from a religious society. This is what I knew, and nothing else. At a certain point, when you're confused about your gender identity, you are alone. Even though I was a secular person who had taken off his kippah after the army, God was with me throughout that period of solitude. Only He was there, Him and only Him. When I wanted to speak with someone, I spoke with Him."

'Not ashamed of it'

Five years ago, G. decided that he could no longer continue a life full of frustration and a lack of belonging. He decided to take a stand, and simultaneously started on a process of renewed closeness with religion. Alongside his newly forged gender identity, a stronger religious identity coalesced.
 
"Today, I keep the mitzvoth. I try to bring holiness into my life, and this does me good. It is possible to be transgender and religious," she said with confidence.

Even today, G., in her 30s, continues to pray in a synagogue – an Orthodox synagogue – next to her home in the center of the country.

"I go to an Orthodox synagogue. They receive me very pleasantly there. It is an open community, and everyone who comes to the synagogue knows me, my past, and my present. No one makes a big deal about it. There is a women's section and a men's section at the synagogue. I sit in the women's section and am not ashamed of it. There is something nice about it, that I have come to terms with my situation and the community has come to terms with who I am. I pray and then go home. I keep Shabbat according to halacha."

G. is fluent in religious texts and is well familiar with halacha and its unbending approach to the issue.

"I am in contact with Orthodox rabbis," she said. "When you speak with them one-on-one, when you are the son of the religious neighbor they know – all of a sudden their minds are opened up. It's nice. But in their external declarations, the whole issue of transgenders and homosexuals scares them a lot. This is why I always say that the sought-after change in the relationship with us will come only from within the community, from education.

"I, personally, know another few transgenders or people with alternative gender identities within the religious community. We can be found throughout the broad spectrum of the religious community – from Bnei Akiva to haredi society. I also tell the rabbis that they must recognize that we exist, that they have a responsibility for our well-being as members of the community and as students. They must connect us to them and not ostracize us.

"I hope change comes soon because I know about of religious people in my situation who are deliberating between leaving religion and staying in it. I, after leaving religion and coming back to it after coming to terms with who I am, feel much better today," said G. proudly.

Comments

[Radical Feminist]

Hey isn't she suppose to cover her arms past her elbows?

[jay]

And the skirt should be at least mid-calf!

[effie]

How accepting would they be if it was reversed, i.e., a woman changing her sex to a man.

[Radical Feminist]

If she had her testicles removed to transition isn't that actually the problem with transitioning in Halacha. Because removing testicles and penies is a prohibition. Question, if she is genetically XXY, and therefore not male, does the prohibition against eunochs still apply?
Discuss
Note: Many XXY are sterile

[Menachem Mendel lll]

Give it time....they frum velt will tear him to pieces. You have my word on it.

[Althelion]

The orthodox, in all their variations, have such a warped view of naturally born women, it's hard to believe that they can even begin to understand, let alone accept, a transgendered individual.

That said, this article seems to portray an individual at peace with her community.

[Justin]

A serious question -- Should s/he still wear tzitzit?

[sholom]

I'm sure this is more common than a lot of people think. In fact, there's a commenter on this very blog who is a male-to-female trans. She's not out though, so I won't say who she is.

[jay]

As I remember learning years ago, she would halachically be considered a voluntarily castrated man, and thus would be banned from receiving any honors within the community.

[effie]

I'll admit I'm rather freaked by Cher's daughter becoming a man and even more so by Warren Beatty's daughter.

[Shaul in Monsey]

I don't know. You gotta be mental to hack off your twig and berries (kishka and varnishkas?) like that. Besides, guys are gross. Dice Clay said it best. You never find yourself on a beach lookin' at some guy's hairy backside and thinkin' oh, I gotta have that...if you're normal. Now I guess if you got the fayg virus thats another story.

Where's A nuran lately? I just want to keep saying shvartze kurva when s/he/its around.

[Shaul in Monsey]

Shvartze kurva.

[Shaul in Monsey]

Effie, Chastity has bigger beitzim than 99% of Willy B and the Lubabanetics combined. No surprise it legally changed its name to a man.

[Abracadabra]

Shaul in Monsey -

The maturity level you are displaying is that of a 15-year-old yeshiva bachur.

"The fayg virus"???

Would someone please take this boy to the principal's office and give him an education...

[Abracadabra]

My heart goes out to "G".

She/he is certainly living on the borders of Orthodox society. Being gay and Orthodox is hard enough. But being transgendered and Orthodox? She/he is very fortunate for the acceptance she/he receives from the Orthodox community being that Orthodoxy has not yet found a place for gays or lesbians, never mind transgendered people.

I am certain that whatever acceptance she/he receives is only due to the fact that she/he is living outside of New York. In the New York Orthodox community, she/he would have to face people like Shaul in Monsey who recoil at the thought of her/him, and countless other frum pea-brains with no heart who would never accept her/him davening in the woman's section, never mind even walking into their shul in the first place. She/he would be ostracized. And if any New York "frum" kana'im would get wind of the situation, they would descend on the shul she/he attends and shame her/him to shreds, post posters, distribute flyers or even beat people up.

She/he is living on the far edges of frum society, at best. I find it very sad, and my heart goes out to her/him. What a lonely and painful struggle it must be.

[the usual chaim.]

there is a very interesting psak din published by the conservative movement's halakhic body on this issue that offers an excellent analysis of relevant post-talmudic halakhic sources. Essentially, as their argument goes, sans male genitals one is not male. thus men can marry M-->F trans. Personally I question some of the reasoning and the fact that it doesnt really address the prohibition of castration in the first place... just starts off from when it is already done. it is, however, a good read nonetheless. it is probably online somewhere if people want to find it.

[Julie (formerly Yoily)]

I'm a transgendered chassid davening in a shteeble whose leadership insists that I sit ON the mechitzah. Ouch.

[PishPosh]

I question trans-genderism and the operations that go with it strictly from a layman's human/scientific viewpoint.
The fact that someone believes that somebody screwed and they were made male instead of female is not a reason to cut up their bodies. Maybe they were born with the right body but its their brain that needs to be reshaped and reformed. The answer lies in the mind not in the scalpel.

[IH]

Sounds like a good application for Hillel's guidance:
ואל תדון את חברך עד שתגיע למקומו

[Radical Feminist]

PP writes "The answer lies in the mind not in the scalpel". Sometimes that's true and sometimes it isn't. There is such a things as ambiguity when it comes to gender. A person may look female but be XY. Or a person may look male and be XXY. In plainer words, if someone has a genetic deformity of any other part of them, besides sex chromosome related and or gender related issues, we accept the need for medical treatment without question. However, when the problem involves gender we place judgments on that person without considering the possible medical issues or causes.

[Yoel Mechanic]

Whether this syndrome be illness or simply biological anomaly (of apparently unknown origin) it is unconscionable to deal harshly with it, or shame someone because of it. There is no shame in it. Now, as for the orthodox Jewish community, there is a reason it takes time to process all this, and they too should be excused to some extent, or at least understood. First, railing on them isn't going to make anything better anyway. Second, this kind of conservatism goes hand in hand with any traditional or tribal community. It is easy for autonomous individuals to accept other individuals, even of they be very different in some highly charged behavior pattern. But a community cannot be so flexible, and therefore it takes much much time. See, the very liberal Jews are not an alternate "community", but more like a collection of individuals who get together based on some mutual principle (shared goals, or perhaps principles like rationalism). But this is not the equivalent of a clan, tribe, or traditional community. So, like it or not, experience with tribalism is not meant to excuse bad behavior on the part of a traditional community, but to help one understand why communities can be sort of ugly (ostracizing, etc) *maybe* liberal communities can some day be formed, but like I said, i think that is something a bit different. Now, a tribe *can* accept certain differences (for instance there could be tribe that wasn't freaked out by variant gender expressions...however there will be invariably something else they will be rigid about, and generally pretty conservative. indigenous peoples, also, are not likely to be modern or cosmopolitan. well, nuff said.

[Dr. Dave]

Why is everyone so testy?

Is it because you are all preop?

(OK! I guess I'm getting sent to the principal's office too.)

[Simon]

There is no reason to mention castration or anything similar, some trans people have sex change operations but there are others who do not want it. You can't tell. I think some of these comments here are repugnant--why are people worried about genitals? Trans people are not reducible to whatever their genitals might be, and just like for everyone else it's no one's business but their own.

[the usual chaim.]

simon-

this is true, but, at the same time, the reason this article is striking is because it is occuring in an orthodox context and jewish law clearly forbids castration unless it is a matter of life and death. so, yes, as an individual she is free to do as she pleases and it is not our business. but her actions have meaning in light of the tradition she addresses herself to and i think there is a validity to their analysis.

the perverted comments here are just idiotic.

[jay]

There's some very interesting evidence that there's a genetic predisposition to transgender:

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6WMD-45CWX3K-7W&_user=10&_coverDate=01%2F07%2F2000&_rdoc=1&_fmt=high&_orig=search&_sort=d&_docanchor=&view=c&_searchStrId=1422069214&_rerunOrigin=scholar.google&_acct=C000050221&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=10&md5=7679e3d91048b1ad54fd2a73c2f57a01

[Mikal W. Grass]

Chaim,

This very well could be a matter of life or death to the individual. What G is going through must be extremely difficult and it bound to effect G's mental and physical health, possibly leading to suicide, another issue of religious importance. I doubt that the rabbis want G to commit suicide, only to scratch their scalps after the burial, and say to themselves and eachother (in hindsight), "yup, silly us, it was a matter of life and death."

People, matters of life and death have to be dealt with while the person is alive, not when the person is dead.

And stop the idiotic commentary. The anti Yids lurking on this site must be having a field day at all of the idiocy that occurs here.

[White Hat Hank]

I am a man who is trapped in the body of a lesbian who is trapped in the body of a man. Where am I supposed to sit?

[Dr. Dave]

I am a man who is trapped in the body of a lesbian who is trapped in the body of a man. Where am I supposed to sit?

On Supreme Court Nominee Elena Kagan's lap.

[Dr. Dave]

It's a joke. I'm sure she'll be a fine jurist.

[Radical Feminist]

jewish law clearly forbids castration unless it is a matter of life and death.

that is an interesting idea for a lenient hecsher. If the idea of living as a man poses so much grief that the person no longer feels like they can continue to live as they are..... I can see grounds for a lenient ruling here.

[Lotty]

Radical Feminist; when was the last time you had some action? i think your aching for.......................................

[jay]

Radical Feminist: There's a jewish concept called "ones" (oh-ness), which would be defined as a coercion that's so strong one can't overcome it. Some rabbis define homosexual tendencies, for example, as Ones- thus allowing them to show leniency to Gay people on issues of communal life. It's an interesting question you raise, and the fact is a very few Orthodox rabbis will accept transgender as a matter of Ones. On the other hand, since all reform, recon, conservative, renewal, humanist and most non denominational rabbis accept them- they're pretty well covered :-)

[Radical Feminist]

Jay thank you for that information.
Lotty: I don't appreciate your statemtns and if you keep up such crap I am going to ask the moderator to pull you from this blog. I have zero tolerance for you and your ilk.

[Yochanan Lavie]

Dude looks like a lady...

[jay]

It's a bit simplistic , btw , to refer to transgenders as 'castrated' since they do reconstruct them quite well as sexually functional, albeit sterile, females.