"Why I Am No Longer Chabad"

A former Chabadnik explains why he no longer identifies as a Chabad hasid.

RebelJew explains why he is no longer a Chabad hasid:

…1) Rebbe iber alles. I could no longer be satisfied by striving to be more like the Rebbe or more what the Rebbe wanted me to be. Many Chasidic stories center on a simple person who rejects his own sense and instead blindly follows the advice of the Rebbe. Of course, in the story, it always works out for him. In real life, not so much. This has blossomed today into ideas like communicating with the Rebbe via random selections in a book of letters, divining at the Rebbe’s grave, or simply chanting slogans and expecting revelations. For a chasid, he must be nothing less than an infallible pope of a superhuman being. There is a line between heartfelt reverence and single minded veneration and enshrining. The Rebbe was a prescient, visionary leader in most respects, and he was wrong far fewer times than the vast majority would have been in his position, and sadly, he has passed on. Chabad needs to move on. I definitely needed to.

2) Being an individual is bad. In Chabad, you wear a uniform and you think uniformly. Anything less is “shvach”. Army terms and parables saturate Chabadism. Bitul and following are the highest virtues. Arguing and thinking differently are the signs of arrogance. The Judaism that I grew up with and respected valued critical thinking and rational argument. In Chabad, rationality is often referred to as a negative. I do not do well in that type of uniform environment.

3) Mythology is good. And believing Chabad myths is virtuous. Questioning them shows lack of faith and especially, faith in the saints, the highest virtue. For every situation, there is a story which is supposed to trump your better judgment or common sense. Every Rebbe story that features a miracle is supposed to convince me further that only the Chabad Rebbes can run the world. (And yes, they use that language frequently.) Being that I do not think that celebritocracy is the best way to govern, I never fully got into this.…

4) Crime pays. Any Chabad criminal is justified, from the top down. I have no respect for the Chabad criminals that have plaques in their honor in buildings named after them, or who collect millions from work a day people for their defense funds. As such, I cannot participate in this, and must speak out against it, as halacha demands. As Chabad establishment fully supports and aggrandizes these people, that makes me “the enemy”.

5) Yechi-ism Chabad politics interest me as much as Capulet – Montague politics interested Mercutio. It is mildly entertaining until one of them stabs you. Which leads to another point. Who cares? It is 15 years later. Why are the slogans or succession still an issue? I have no skin in this game. Each side is as bombastic and self serving as the other.…

10) Fighting the fight. Being in Chabad, you are expected to adopt the enemies of Chabad as your enemies. Similarly, there are people who will hate you for identifying with Chabad. I don’t care enough to endure strange abuse for an honor that I dream not of, nor do I wish to empathize with derision and scorn of others. I do not hold a group or individuals in contempt if they dislike Chabad or have theological problems with Chabad, unless they are contemptuous in their manner.…

Comments

[harold]

Would be nice to balance this with an explanation from someone who joins Chabad. This way an interested observer can get some sense of balance and a starting point to some lively and hopefully meaningful dialog (as if that is possible at FM). Instead we shall now commence with the Chabad bashing and the "yea, that’s right" that is sure to follow.

Let the bashing begin!

[critical_minyan]

Chabad has a lot of similarities to socialist jewish groups of the 1940's and 1950's, who debated and usually fought over the issue of whether they should stay allied to the Soviet Union vs. staying allied with the United States.
I think in 30 years people who were Chabad, will be looked at as fondly and as nostalgically as the naive dopes who stayed allied with Stalin.

[Yerachmiel Lopin]

"I do not think that celebritocracy is the best way to govern."

I can see the next Chabad publicity vehicle, a fan mag on the checkout lanes at your local supermarket. Yeah, I know he is dead for 15 years. But maybe his celebrity can keep the mag going. Elvis is still a viable commercial enterprise. What we need now are Rebbe sightings in Grand Rapids, etc.

[who knows?]

Harold, I don't think that an article from a person who just joined Chabad will ballance the letter of someone who left, because the people who join are joining for some good real or percieved, while the people who are leaving have experienced both the good and the bad of the movement.

However a letter from recent Chabad BT would give us insight about the reasons why some people may want to join it.

[Chamor im daas]

I expect a Lubavitch troll to come and say how the 'facts are all wrong' and 'the best thing he could do would be to apologize'. That is there standard way of pretending to be kind to their critics.

[Cha-bad]

I was at a Chabadnik's home in Miami a few weeks ago for shabbat lunch and the father made his kids thank the picture of the Rebbe for the good chulent, for the dessert, and for the toys the kids played with when they were allowed to leave the table.

It was one of the weirdest, most cultish things I ever experienced.

[Critical minyan]

Freaks. Sad, sad, mostly harmless freaks.

[Office of the Chief Rabbi]

Hello –
My name is Rabbi Olabamu Wabatunji and I am the Morah D’Asra of Lagos, Nigeria. Thank G-d, we are now forming a New Kollel for over 30 yungerleit and their families, to be known as Kollel Yirei Areeos. We have collected significant funding for the new building, and obtained the services of the well know architect Moishe Ben-Pil, whose study of the first prakim of Shmos has made him an expert on construction using mud bricks. Our funds currently exceed 13.5 million US dollars, which we must convert into Nigerian Nairas (NGN 1,822,500,000) Due to your well know honesty and tzidkus, we are pleased to offer you an opportunity to take part in this great mitzvah. Since we must deposit this money in an American bank account to begin the currency conversion, we will gladly give you 10% of this money ($1,350,000) if you will let us use yours.
Simply reply to this email and send us the following information:

Your social security number
The name of your bank, and your account number The name of your next of kin Your yichus Your hat size How long you wait after eating fleishigs

My G-d bless you for your help, and may you have a freilech Purim
[end]

Does anyone know if this guy's Chabad?

[harold]

I am also a believer that not everything is good for everyone. One can ask an American who was born with a silver spoon and everything is going his way what they think of America and he will say wonderful things. Ask someone else down on his luck, recently laid off and nearing having his house being foreclosed and you will get a different story. This reminds me of a story about a woman from the 5 towns that came to her rabbi and said – I know that we are in Galus and we are supposed to be sad that we are in Galus, but for someone in Galus it isn’t really to bad, should I feel guilty? Then there is a story about a group of 5 towns women who belonged to a group known as the Concord Club who would take the Concord to Paris to shop and return that same day. They too would have nothing but glowing things to say about life in America.

Chabad works for some and doesn’t work for others. I as an example have nothing but respect for what they do globally and for the community that I live in. The Rabbi and Rebitzen are one of the sweetest most wonderful people that I have meet. Do I daven by them sometimes – yes; do I attend the shul dinner even though I am not a member – yes; do I celebrate with the Rabbi in times of joy – yes, do I cry with them during times of tragedy – yes; will I join the Chabad movement – no, it is not for me, but that does not make it a bad.

One person’s story while interesting simply shows that to him it was not a good shidduch. A story about a recent chabadnick and a long time chabadnick would provide a more 3-D picture as to what Chabad is all about and more importantly has to offer.

There is a song on the carts by Orianthi called “According To You” that illustrates what I am trying to say. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and two people can look at the same thing and see two completely images. I will include a portion. Maybe YL can use it :)

According to you
I’m stupid,
I’m useless,
I can’t do anything right.
According to you
I’m difficult,
hard to please,
forever changing my mind.
I’m a mess in a dress,
can’t show up on time,
even if it would save my life.
According to you. According to you.

But according to him
I’m beautiful,
incredible,
he can’t get me out of his head.
According to him
I’m funny,
irresistible,
everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite,
I don’t feel like stopping it,
so baby tell me what I got to lose.
He’s into me for everything I’m not,
according to you.
…

[harold]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and two people can look at the same thing and see two completely images

Woops meant Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and two people can look at the same thing and see two completely different images.

I should proof read what I type.

[state of disgust]

OCR
Good one, LOL!!!

[Choni Davidowitz]

I left Chabad when they proudly erected a 100sq. meter replica of the Kotel in Berlin,using 19tons of Jerusalem stone.

[Big Jew]

Its a nebach. The only Chance a lebavitcher has of being normal is if he doesn't go to chabad yeshivos.

[Office of the Chief Rabbi]

SOD -
Author unk. Not me. I've been writing songs for Purim, maybe will post some in the daze to come.

[NOTING]

upgetun gantz varshe

[maven]

critical minyan: "I think in 30 years people who were Chabad, will be looked at as fondly and as nostalgically as the naive dopes who stayed allied with Stalin."

Now, really. How many millions did Chabad murder? What show trials did they hold? I mean, let's not let the hyperbole get too out of hand, even when discussing Chabad.

[R]

Basically it;s the cult mentality that puts people off chabad. For me it was the lies, the hypocrisy and the insanity.

[chabad]

I am chabsd, he is not chabad
what does this meann?
chabad is a very broad concept
in fact chabad has many sub.divisions and it is a conglomerate of more than 30 differents groups of ppl coming from different places and different backgrounds
IOW, it could be that I am not this chabad but I am another chabad
ia m not chabad geze, i am not chabad crazy bt, i am not chabad russian, i am not chabad Beis shmuel, I am not chabad frenchy, I am not chabad tzfati, I am not chabad shliach, I am not chabad elokist, Ia mo not chabad meshichist, I am not chabad detroiter, i AM not chabad Argentinina, I am not chabad Israely. I am not chabad amaerica, but it could be that I am a chabad who loves chabad chassidus,etc etc

[Rob Wisler]

Face,
God loves non-married people too and they are part of Klal Yisroel just as much as you are. That was a really cheap shot at Shmarya and displays your lack of decency and your arrogant pride. You should be ashamed.

[Chayim]

If you are looking for excuses to be an atheist or non observant ,you can find it. If you are looking for excuses to be unemployed you can find all types of excuses.If you are looking for excuses to be a lazy bum than you will find it. If You want to be a real passionate observant Jew it does not matter if u r satmar,lubavitch,yeshivash,sfardish or ashkenazik. If you want to be a good Jew you will find the good in this world .The choice is yours to be a success or a failure. CHAREIDI POWER NUMBER ONE.

[Chabadnik Attorney]

You need to read the entire article in order to understand where Rebeljew is coming from. Its my perception that reading only the partial post presents an inaccurate view of the reason Rebeljew left Chabad and of his feelings about Chabad.

[M]

People often confuse and conflate Chabad and the Lubavitch community, but truth be told, they are for the most part, two separate things.

Chabad the global outreach movement, is a very successful fairly inclusive, tolerant, and non-judgmental organization. Their style draws in unaffiliated Jews who would otherwise not have any exposure to Judaism, and provides a hot meal for Jews in every corner of the globe.

However, The Lubavitch community, which the author is addressing, is in many ways the mirror opposite. It is a hyper-conformist, cult-like, confused, hypocritical, bitterly tribal, directionless, delusion, elitist, racist and extremely intolerant towards anyone different from themselves. (When I was younger, their venom was directed towards "snags", although it appears to have shifted to "liberals" over time.)
While this dichotomy may appear confusing and almost impossible, it is the sad reality. I would know; I grew up as a Lubavitcher, attended their "best" Yeshivas, went to their summer camps, and stood amongst the sweaty hoards while they sang "Yechi" to the failed Messiah who approvingly waved his hand in anticipation of the second coming. They will deny this of course, but then again, that's Lubavitchers for you.

[Althelion]

The rebbe rules the world
He tells us what to do
He tells us when to pee
He tells us when to poo
He tells how to sit
And when we can stand up
Oy Yoy - The rebbe even tells us when we have to shtup!

The rebbe is the cult of personality

[chabadnik attorney]

M, no group is perfect :)

[Yochanan Lavie]

Harold: I am unfamiliar with the song you posted, but thanks for the shout out.

[M]

Chabadnik Attorney,

I agree with you, but there is world of difference between less than perfect, and deeply troubled. Unfortunately, the Lubavitch community falls on the latter end.
The intense divisiveness within the community highlighted by it's "break-a-way" culture is a reflection of that.

[harold]

Harold: I am unfamiliar with the song you posted, but thanks for the shout out.

Check out this site for the song, lyrics and the musical video.
http://www.musicloversgroup.com/orianthi-according-to-you-video-and-lyrics/

[chabadnik attorney]

M, I did put a smiley face. Truth is your right. Its a troubling world out there in general. We are all trying to make sense of our lives. If it weren't for the shluchim and the good side of Chabad I would have been gone long ago. Plus orthodoxy has been a plus for me and my otherwise troubled sole Chabad brought me to orthodoxy and I have hakoras hatov.

[JJ]

what happened to reasons 6 through 9 ?

[rebeljew]

A few comments on the comments:

Chabadnik attorney. I agree with your comments. I would only add that no one is perfect and no one should claim to be. Nothing is for everyone, and nothing should claim to be.

Chabad - I was very specific. You are generalizing too far. Chabad is not for everyone. By globalizing Chabad, you take any meaning out of it. For some people, it works. For me, it did not. I can live with that. Can you?

Harold - Had you read the original post, you would realize that no Lubavitchers were harmed in writing it. No bashing was involved, and your later comments were more on track.

Chayim - SIC SEMPER TYRANIS. See, I can spout slogans too.

To those who used this to make disparaging comments about Chabad, I think you missed the point.

[rebeljew]

Here are the missing 6 - 9

6) Nepotism and corruption. These are rampant in Chabad as anywhere. I have no family roots or support system in Chabad nor enough money to make a difference.

7) No shared interest. I do not care about Rebbe’s getting out of prison, nor their birthdays and yahrtzeits. Nor do I care for some of the irrelevant halachas and customs, like 7 o’clock kiddush, kaparos complete with 3 chickens for a pregnant woman, just in case, drawing mayim shelanu at dusk, RT Tefilin, chalav yisroel, pas and bishul yisroel, even on things that have nothing to do with the original law, gebrochts, other Pesach irrelevant stringencies, etc. I am more interested in the traditional Jewish observances.

8) Judaism salesman. Every non-chabad encounter is an opportunity to share chasidus. Every non-observant simcha is an opportunity spread the Gospel and put tefilin on people. How is mivtzas sheva mitzvos different than missionary work again? I would rather converse about ideas than convince someone of something.

9) Magic everywhere The practice of non-Jewish magic is sanctioned and prolific, though thankfully not universal. Obviously, not my bag.

[True Blue Aussie]

@Office of the Chief Rabbi...

The email you posted is a typical 419 scam.

[harold]

Harold - Had you read the original post, you would realize that no Lubavitchers were harmed in writing it. No bashing was involved
…
To those who used this to make disparaging comments about Chabad, I think you missed the point

When I made reference to bashing I meant our very own FailedMessiahnites, the commenters, not you, and B"H they did not disappoint!

What we have here is like a zoo, Scotty opens the cage throws a story closes the cage and then the feeding frenzy begins. There are certain rules that the FailedMessiahnites follow and they are typically triggered by keywords that Scotty has conditioned his followers to react to. For example, if Scotty begins a story with "Baruch Dayan Emes" then his Chassidim know that this means that it is hands off! No negative posts allowed. If the post is about someone’s passing but no "Barach Dayan Emes" then commence attack. Go back to prior posts and you will see. I remember there was a story about the passing of a, I think it was 99 year old, women and the story was that she had, I think it was 1,500 decedents. No “Barach Dayan Emes” was proclaimed so the feeding frenzy began and despite knowing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about this woman she and all her descendents were shamelessly trashed by his mindless captive followers.

Acceptable trigger words include Haredi, Chabad, Rabbi, and Orthodox. Spend a few days here and you will see the pattern.

Ok, time for me to duck!

[yossel]

Choni

I don't understand why would leave the Chabad movement because they used Jerusalem stone in Berlin? You seem so shallow unless I am missing something.

[chaim]

As a chabadnik, not gezur, i am very open minded! yes i have a college degree and make a descent living, but my neighbors are happy on food stamps. Then i look at my non jewish neighbors who never worked and always sitting watching tv without kids, what do i prefer? Every culture has the better and the worse some more than others, enjoy life frum, chabad, litvish or chassidish don't be ashamed of what u are!

[Dr. Dave]

I left Chabad when they proudly erected a 100sq. meter replica of the Kotel in Berlin,using 19tons of Jerusalem stone

I don't understand why would leave the Chabad movement because they used Jerusalem stone in Berlin? You seem so shallow unless I am missing something.

I think the problem is with putting up a wall in Berlin.

Seems a tad derivative.

Maybe Mr. Obama will go to Berlin and say:

Rabbi Schneerson. Tear down this wall!

[Office of the Chief Rabbi]

@True Blue Aussie

D'oh ;-P

שבת שלום.פורים שמח

[Neo-Conservaguy]

I feel, honestly, unworthy for the most part to comment upon RebelJew's cogent, intelligent, heartfelt writings - and I know he'll take me to task for playing the "I'm so unworthy" card too. TS, dude.

I do, however, disagree with his assessment of "Chabad wine", tefillah and some customs. To setup how I feel about "Chabad wine", let me first state that I find the additional rabbinic stringencies on kashruth (pat, bishul, yayin, etc.) outdated, not relevant, and wholly capable of being banishing by modern rabbis. I happily eat the simple bread of non-Jewish bakers without rabbinic supervision, exactly as our sages did so for two thousand years. "Chabad wine", however, would seem to potentially be the closest thing to the original concern about "yayin nesekh". I would be concerned about wine that had even a drop from a qiddush cup over which a blessing was made by someone that was publicly (to my knowledge) a Yechi supporter. I believe there are honest concerns about counting them in a minyan (the irony of that statement is not lost on me) or to allow them to lead a service. I've made my personal choices on these issues, just as others must make their own choices.

I recognize fully the many positive things ChaBaD people have selflessly done for other Jews (and yes, for Gentiles) including myself and my family. HaShem works in strange ways indeed, and for all of my rejection of Chabad it's entirely possible that neither I nor my family would be observant Jews if not for the formative years I spent with an amazing Chabad rabbi sent on "schluchas" to help people like... me? It was only one part of a complex journey, but it was exactly there at exactly the correct time. Without doubt, my Chabad friends are as puzzled about my later choices to be a Western Sephardi influenced neo-conservadox Jew that believes women can be called for allioth as I am about their choices allowing yellow flags to hang from houses in their communities. Divine mysteries indeed.

[Yosef ben Matitya]

though rebel jews is probably sincere, it seems sometimes, that chabad knows they blew it in many ways and are drawing a line of what is to be tolerated and what not in their ctiticism.
his posting reflects that line.
i.e. you can criticize them to a limit i.e. without declaring them christians, idolaters or treif, nor g-d forbids attacking the rebbe frontal attacks, or considering him chotei umachatee. one senses some amount of tshuva among them. though their arrogance and sanguine aggressiveness, is still far from cured.

[Paul Freedman]

Chabad blah blah blah zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[Yosef ben Matitya]

Maybe Mr. Obama will go to Berlin and say:?!

i don't know, Dr, i hope mr obama realizes that mame'sh is no longer among the living. even long before that wall was built.
mind u, it's not only in berlin they built such.

[ilona]

chabad is shit ! chabad rabbis and chabad people are ALL LIARS .
chabad use people to THEIR OWN ADVANTAGE .
they don't help you . they will give you the IMPRESSION they do .
chabad takes your money to help THEMSELVES or russians .

...........chabad is DISCRIMINATIVE against ALL JEWS , except russians and themselves .
they will SWEET TALK YOU to get something FROM YOU .

..........NEVER trust a chabad person and
..........certainly NOT A CHABAD rabbi .

..........they are ALL LIARS ............
..........NO EXCEPTION ..................

[ilona]

............ shmarya , ...............
you are a VERY SMART person , you understood the truth about chabad .
i am so happy you published this AWSOME web site .'''''' thank you '''''''''
thanks to you , ppl will be educated about chabad and know the truth about them , BEING LIARS and FAKE and HIDING behind 'torah' to use and extork naive , unaducated jews .
..........thank you for having the guts
..........to publish this site.........

........you can easily compare chabad rabbis and chabad ppl to john gotti .
........with no exaggeration ..........

.......yes, chabad ppl are CRIMINALS.....
....... they HURT innocent jews ........
....chabad is an EVIL organization .......

.........people should know about them....

........again , thank you .............

[ilona]

..............shmarya ,....................
........you are a very sincere person,.....
that's why your web works .you are telling nothing but the TRUTH . thank you , g-d bless you . ilona .

[ilona]

........chabad are PHONIES...............
they scam ppl any chance they get .......

----------> ppl should be entitled to the truth .

[ilona]

...........chabad are SICK people ,......
.......they should be institutionalized ...
thank g-d for the sirtuk , the characteristic beard and LOOK . it's a red flag , a warning that tells you ''''''''

''''''''''' stop and WATCH ! ''''''''''

[harold]

Chabad the source of all evil!

[Kitty]

My husband has been duped by Chabad. How di I get him out of it?