Beware The Charismatic Rabbi

‘Pied Pipers’ - charismatic teachers who misuse their charisma - are often themselves deeply immature, but their immaturity is emotional, not intellectual, and it is not always obvious.

Beware the charismatic rabbi
By Miriam Shaviv • The London Jewish Chronicle

The best comment on the Rav Elon sex scandal comes from Adderabbi, who tries to put it all into context by quoting a passage on charismatic teachers from an absolutely brilliant new book on Jewish education -- written, ahem, by my father, Paul Shaviv, principal of TannenbaumCHAT in Toronto, the largest Jewish high  school, grade-for-grade, in North America (and the largest private day school in Canada).

Much of what he says may be applied to charismatic rabbis in the public sphere, such as Rav Elon:

The ‘Pied-Piper’ is one of the most difficult situations for a Principal to deal with. Many excellent and highly professional teachers have elements of charisma in their personalities.  In the ‘Pied Piper’ situation a powerfully charismatic teacher has exceeded appropriate boundaries. The teacher’s personality has become the centre of the classroom rather than the course content.  A ‘Pied Piper’ will deeply affect and influence some students – but will almost always leave a trail of emotional wreckage in his/her wake.

‘Pied Pipers’ - charismatic teachers who misuse their charisma - are often themselves deeply immature, but their immaturity is emotional, not intellectual, and it is not always obvious.  They can be brilliant in inspiring students to go beyond their wildest expectations, and are often regarded (by their following of students, by parents, and by the Board or the community) as the ‘most important’ or ‘best’ members of staff.  There is always, however, a price to be paid.

One of the effects of charisma is to convince the recipient that he or she is the centre of the charismatic personality’s concern.  A teenage student (or a particular class) may feel as though he, she or they is/are the protégé(s) of the charismatic teacher.  The moment they realize that they are not (sometimes when the teacher ‘moves on to the next’), deep emotions come into play.  Many charismatic teachers will lavish attention on a student or group of students – as long as the student(s) do things the teacher’s way, or accept every piece of advice or “philosophy” or Torah uncritically.  The moment the student shows independence or objectivity – they are dropped. As soon as they are dropped, they are written out of the teacher’s story. Deep disillusion sets in.  The student(s) are devastated. Often such students, very hurt, leave the school.

Whatever brand of identity and loyalty the ‘Pied Piper’ has inculcated – religion, sport, poetry, art, politics – may be abandoned overnight.  The next set of ‘favorites’ takes their place. Tears are a feature of meetings between the abandoned students, their parents, and the Administration.  Mild characteristics of cult leaders may be observed.

Other parents, however, will rave about how their son/daughter “adores” Mr./Ms/ or Rabbi X, and is “learning so much from them”.  Events linked to that teacher will be showcase events, and in the Principal (or Head of Department) will come to be dependent on the teacher.  “We need something special for the prize-giving...or the ground-breaking … or the community event… can you put something together?” The teacher will protest that the time is short, and it’s impossible, but will, of course, accept and do a fabulous job.

The problem is that at core, these are not educational relationships.

The emotional dependency and entanglement between teacher and student leads to boundaries being crossed.  The teacher throws open his/her house to the students.  Teens idolize the teacher, and dangerous fantasies begin to develop.

Boundaries are crossed; the usual rules don’t apply to the Pied Piper, or, sometimes, his/her students.

For more on how this applies to the current scandal, read our special correspondent Anshel Pfeffer's powerful piece in Haaretz, on the influence Rav Elon had on him during his teens and early 20s.

Another relevant comment from my father's book comes from the opening to the section on teachers behaving inappropriately:

It is sobering to understand how charm, charisma and talent can mask an altogether more sinister agenda.  It is even more sobering to face the reality of how far people of all ages can be deceived by skilful confidence tricksters, sociopaths and predators – to the extent of maintaining faith in them even after their evil has been exposed.

Worth keeping in mind in this day and age, when all too many rabbis seem to have turned from halachic arbitrators and community leaders into personal life coaches.

Comments

[Commentator]

Book is obtainable from Amazon.com

[John]

This Rabbi may be guilty but he may be innocent. Most of us don't know the victims personally and haven't heard their stories nor have we heard all the facts. Why don't we let a court decide whether he is guilty or innocent before jumping on the witch hunt? If he's guilty... I say burn him - however he could be a victim too if he's innocent and in that case, it's better to let a judge do the judging before we trash what could be an innocent man.

[A. Nuran]

Not confined to rabbis, religious figures or teachers.

[Mark Dratch]

From a brief comment I made in a previous edition of Shma:

In addition to political savoir faire, a leader’s ability to inspire the masses often relies on an unquantifiable dose of undefinable charisma. With charisma, leaders speak to our hearts, not just our minds. With charisma leaders evoke our loyalty and devotion, not just our votes.

Charisma creates a strong personal bond between leader and follower. It defines essential and transformative aspects of the bonds between Chassidim and their Rebbes, yeshiva students and their teachers, congregants and their spiritual leaders, and children and their teachers and youth leaders.

But charisma can be dangerous. Allowed to overflow the boundaries of propriety, it can be a manipulative tool enabling leaders to control and even abuse their minions—politically, socially, economically and sexually. There are too many examples of leaders—presidents, congressmen, rabbis, and teachers—who have abused the trappings of their offices to mistreat those who respect them and are devoted to them.

If charisma is indeed from the Greek kharisma or divine gift, then a good leader, a responsible leader, will do “as God commanded Moses,” and lead with humility, self-restraint, and respect.

Mark Dratch
www.JSafe.org

[danny]

I don't see much charisma... just a whole lot of ugly.

[avraham rosenblum]

The whole purpose of a yeshiva (nowadays) is to create a fiefdom. just think about it. You are an unsuccessful owner of a vegetable store. What easier way of making a living that getting a few ID names from three ex cons and starting your own yeshiva and getting automatic guaranteed income from the government and then going off to England and collecting money for your "yeshiva". This is the system. But out of this system comes people that are in fact charismatic but have nothing to offer just use the powerful teachings of rebbi nachman to gain following.
And then what about people that are the real thing? The kind of rosh yeshiva like reb shmuel berenbaum that really knew shas and was absolutely dedicated to teaching it and living it? And yet I feel also that the whole yeshiva experience just side tracked me from what I really should have been doing. (My parents wanted me to go to collage, not to yeshiva.) But was that the fault of reb shmuel or my own fault? I feel if I did spend time in a yeshiva I am happy it was a real yeshiva with a real yeshiva and not the fake type.

[rabbidw]

The problem is charisma is not a sign of a future problem. Many good people, including Rabbi Dratch, have charisma. I would say that every leader that I can think of, besides Richard Nixon, had charisma. The problem is how the leader uses his charisma, whether he surrounds himself with yes men, ot wants to hear different opinions. Of course a teacher is, not interested in different opinions.

[josh werblowsky m.d.]

Rabbi Dratch as head of JSafe and his group have done an excellent job of teaching and publicizing the serious issue of abuse in the Jewish community.
Moshe Rabenu was a charismatic leader but he was also-Bamidbar 12:3 And a man who was more humble than any other man on the earth.
The importance of modesty ,anivus, and knowing that our abilities are God given to be used to help others and not for our own needs.

[maven]

This is all well and good, except that it really wasn't the case with R. Elon. Everyone who knows him is in shock, he has been a public figure for over 20 years, and did not present himself as a Gafni, Lanner, or any of those characters. Anyone who knows him, not just Shmarya's ynet postings about him, knows this is a tragedy and it will certainly be more complex when the actual facts are released.

[g]

It's not that there is somethinng inherently wrong with charisma and it is not always dangerous-- but it can be dangerous and must be used and appreciated with great care.

[you first]

description sounds like the rogosnitzky dude -cantor- who was featured in an article here last week...

[yudel]

The above hits the nail on the head. Look at Carlebach.
Dozens of women come forward to his followers and are friends of said followers and are shunned and told to forgive and forget. Toss out the Rambam and Gemora.
He thrives and no one says boo on him. He is saint today.

Rabbi Dratch is a good man but powerless and i bet if you ask him he would say he is powerless. How many court cases has he put forward from his victims? Answer is what i said in earlier post. He honors victims code of silence and feels that in a certain way the head of the snake is cut off cause the victims are free.