Senior National Religious Rabbi: Keep Child Abuse Within The Family

It's raining nutcase rabbis over in the Holy Land.

First, we have Ashkenazi chief rabbi Yona Metzger's slur against ba'al teshuvas.

Now, we have…

…Rabbi Elyakim Levanon's 'words of wisdom' to a 22 year old young man who comes from a family where the parents fight among themselves and then take their anger out on their small children by beating them:

…I well understand your difficult feelings when seeing your parents behave disrespectfully toward each other. And of course, the suffering of your siblings. But know that your self-control and your pain are not worthless, and they have an effect, both on the family and in heaven. An important principle: Parents educate their children, but children don't educate their parents. Nevertheless, it's proper to show your parents that their fighting causes you pain, and even to mention it [emphasis in the original].…

And regarding your younger siblings, who are hit by their parents. The terrible sorrow this causes is manifold. On the one hand, by parents who instead of influencing their children with love influence them through beatings, embarrassment and suffering. And second, by the children, who suffer physically and emotionally both now and in the future.

But, even so, one must be strong and not say anything to the parents [regarding the abuse] [emphasis mine]. Because it will cause greater damage. The main concern needs to be neutralizing the continuing negative influence on the siblings. Abused children can become abusive parents. Your ability to help is through love and encouragement [emphasis mine]. Try with all your might not to speak negatively about your parents, because this will cause additional pain to the children. Even abusive parents are parents. And each child must have a parental figure. Of course, there is no need to justify the parents' actions, but you can tell your siblings that the parents work hard and struggle for their children, which happens to be true. And this causes them to be stressed and easily annoyed, so they pour out their wrath on the children. A statement like this will comfort your siblings a little. And if you add a warm hug, they will no doubt be strengthened [emphasis mine].

Our dear rabbi isn't done yet. It's not enough to counsel this 22 year old to stand by while his younger siblings are beaten. He also has something to say about how society deals with children and with child abuse:

…Today the mistaken idea is circulating that one must distinguish between different parts of the family and relate to each one separately. This leads to organizations that promote the welfare of a child, as if he is an independent unit separate from the rest of the family. Therefore the court punishes parents who hit their children, causing serious damage to the entire family through the disintegration of the family hierarchy.…

This was printed this week, at a time that has seen a spate of horrific child abuse cases in Israel committed in large part by religious Jews.

Rabbi Levanon is the rabbi of Elon Moreh and the rosh yeshiva of Yeshivat Birkat Yosef, two good places not to send your money – or your children.

Comments

[jewishwhistleblower]

While I am not prepared to give an opinion at this time on the author or the allegations contained in his book that is linked (as I have not investigated in depth), could I ask readers familiar with NJ aspects of the Rabbi Baruch Lanner case and cover-up to comment on the allegations made in this book:

1) http://books.google.com/books?q=lanner+Pruzansky
see: page 33

Can anyone shed light on this in respect of the following development:

2)http://www.jstandard.com/articles/4150/1/Passaic-rabbi-is-new-head-of-the-Beth-Din-of-America
...
As director of one of the largest rabbinical courts in the United States, Weissmann will work with a cadre of about 20 on-call rabbinic judges — among them Rabbi Steven Pruzansky, a lawyer and leader of Cong. B’nai Yeshurun in Teaneck
...

[formellyfrum]

Is this guy for real

I would ask Rabbi Elyakim Levanon's, I have a problem at home. I see my parents eating non-kosher food. What should I do?

I wonder if his answer would be the same?

[jewishwhistleblower]

To clarify re: the book I linked. I lnked it solely to discuss the allegation of cover-up re: Lanner.

There is never a valid basis to not give a get.

[Dr Fred]

The more these rabbis speak, the bigger is the hole they dig.Soon, hopefully, there will be sufficient outrage to finish the job they have begun and cover them up.

[David Bar-Magen]

Well, I've heard it counseled before by normative therapists that the answer to abuse is NOT to confront the abuser--but to advise someone to just keep quiet and let the abuse continue is foolhardy and dangerous.

I hope the haredi world is rocked enough by these public scandals to feel compelled to do something whether they're ready for it or not. Maybe something positive will emerge from all this pain.

[steve]

Is he any different than Rabbi Hopfer and David Mandel who said that child molestation victims need to "toughen up" and only report to the rabbis?

[yidandahalf]

Absolutely, keep it in the family. As my mother and I were both victims of heavy duty abuse I can say this Rabbi knows what he's talking about. An ilui of shit.
If you have never been a victim you will never know and if you are a victim run away as fast as you can no matter what. JUST GET OUT like YESTERDAY.

[jewishwhistleblower]

Breaking News: including

1) Rabbanit Bruria Keren NOT released to house arrest and more:
http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/objects/pages/ShowTickers.jhtml
15:53 Beit Shemesh mother accused of child abuse not released to house arrest (Haaretz)
13:02 Israel issues int`l arrest warrant against spiritual leader over child abuse (Haaretz)
08:21 Police nab couple from central moshav suspected of abusing their 4 kids (Haaretz)

2) former President Katsav possibly facing rape charges
http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/973874.html

3) A relative of Jewish Press (NY) proprietor tied to one "of the worst cases of systematic child abuse" Israel has ever known. The residence where the abuse occured belonged to the Jewish Press (NY) proprietor.
http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/973871.html
...
The villa, part of the prestigious Wolfson complex in the Shaarei Hessed neighborhood of Jerusalem, belongs to the wife's mother, who lives in the United States and is the proprietor of a well-known Jewish newspaper.
...

[Gary]

Hey JWB, how come you haven't updated your site since 2005?

[Steve]

I think the theme with these rabbis is that people should not question authority figures and rules no matter what.

[shmuel]

"...but you can tell your siblings that the parents work hard and struggle for their children, which happens to be true. And this causes them to be stressed and easily annoyed, so they pour out their wrath on the children. A statement like this will comfort your siblings a little."

Only a little, sir. But then the pain comes again with the next beating, so the relief is slight indeed.

"And if you add a warm hug, they will no doubt be strengthened."

No doubt. Dust in his mouth.

"...This leads to organizations that promote the welfare of a child, as if he is an independent unit separate from the rest of the family. Therefore the court punishes parents who hit their children, causing serious damage to the entire family through the disintegration of the family hierarchy."

It's... the courts' fault! It's...those organizations' fault! It's...not the fault of the abusive parents!

I'm...out of this religion.

[jewishwhistleblower]

>Hey JWB, how come you
>haven't updated your site
>since 2005?

Time is the main issue. Also, I'd rather have a forum where all can comment and that I do not have to moderate. Fortunately, where there were a few on-line voices a mere few years ago there are now many voices.

[Y. Aharon]

While not defending the poor advice supplied by the rabbi in question, it is not a question of moral and ethical turpitude on his part. It's just that the education of rabbis does not normally include extensive training in pastoral counseling. In Israel, I highly doubt that there is any training. The rabbi is simply unaware of effective strategies in such situations, and does not exhibit sufficient wisdom to acknowledge his deficiency. The solution is to introduce or amplify such training by competent professionals in rabbinic schools. This is precisely the program at Yeshivat Chovevei Torah (YCT) which requires 4 years of pastoral training together with classical rabbinics.

Y. Aharon

[Shmarya]

Y. Aharon –

Good points.

[self hating hungarian]

Hungarian chassidim are the scum of the earth.

They have absolutely no ethics or morals.

They abuse their own children, physically, emotionally and sexually.

Someone should do a study on how many children are abused daily, whether in their yeshivos by their rebeeim or by their own parents. Places like Williamsburgh and Boro park are crawling with all kinds of creeps looking for young victims to satisfy their darkest desires. They hang out at Rebbe's Tishes, Mikvas and other such events.
The Rebbes and 'community leaders' are mum, they say and do nothing about it. As long as there are no concerts or mixed seatings at weddings, they are content.

[steve]

Off topic, but noteworthy:

http://www.vosizneias.com

In the ongoing saga of the concert-banning issue, Rabbi Ovadia Yosef has drawn a stark contrast with the Rabbonim in American who purportedly signed onto "The Big Event" concert ban, by responding to a question submitted by singer Yaakov Shwekey. The singer, to be participating in an upcoming concert in Israel, faced the same agitation created by activists here, but, Rabbi Yosef wrote in his letter, as long as mingling is clearly prevented and and a clear mechitzah is established, there is no cause for concern, as the event in question is merely a concert to be mesamayach people and convey divrei brachah

[Sephardic-Male]

more proof that Haredi is mental illness

[BS]

Monsey shuls yahoo group posted tendler Minyan news:

Rabbi Tendler Minyan - Pesach Schedule
Posted by: "here4real" here4real@yahoo.com here4real
Fri Apr 11, 2008 9:14 am (PDT)

Rav Mordecai Tendler

653 Union Road

New Hempstead, NY 10977

Pesach 5768

Thursday, April 17th

Monday, April 21st

Taanit Bechorim

Begins 5:23 AM

Shacharit

8:50 AM

Bedikat Chametz

After 7:39 PM

Sof Zman Kriat Shema

9:31 AM

Mincha

7:25 PM

Friday, April 18th

Shkiya

7:43 PM

Biur Chametz

(no bitul chametz!)

Preferably before

11:35 AM

Maariv

8:33 PM

Tuesday, April 22nd – Friday, April 25th

Chol HaMoed

Shabbos, April 19th

Mincha

7:00 PM

Shabbos, April 26th

Candle Lighting

(if making late Shabbos)

7:22 PM

Mincha

7:00 PM

Shkiya

7:40 PM

Candle Lighting

(if making late Shabbos)

7:30 PM

Shkiya

7:48 PM

Shacharit

7:30 AM

Last time to eat chametz

(Rav Moshe)

10:40 AM

Shacharit

8:50 AM

Last time for bitul chametz

(Rav Moshe)

11:48 AM

Sof Zman Kriat Shema

9:27 AM

Last time to eat chametz

(Magen Avraham)

10:16 AM

Last time for bitul chametz

(Magen Avraham)

11:36 AM

Mincha

7:15 PM

Shkiya

7:49 PM

Mincha

7:05 PM

Maariv

8:39 PM

Shkiya

7:41 PM

Maariv

8:31 PM

Sunday, April 27th

Chatzot

12:55 AM

Shacharit

8:50 AM

Sof Zman Kriat Shema

9:26 AM

Sunday, April 20th

Shacharit

8:50 AM

Mincha

7:30 PM

Sof Zman Kriat Shema

9:31 AM

Shkiya

7:50 PM

Mincha

7:25 PM

Maariv

8:40 PM

Shkiya

7:42 PM

Maariv

8:05 PM

Chatzot

12:55 AM

[uncle joe mccarthy]

this is already happening, thanks to the lack of frum foster care in the states...they dont report child abuse cases for fear that the kids will be placed in homes where there is no shabbas, kashrut or worse, a non jewish home...so instead of creating orgs that develop frum foster care and group homes, they decide to deal with the issues from within the community...and fail miserably...a friend of mine took one of these kids in...he was promised a monthly stipend in order to cover expenses and pay for therapy...the money never came, and the child was forced to leave the home...very nice...very frum